If there is one piece of advice I have heard over and over and over again concerning the race, it is lay down your expectations! The former racer who interviewed me warned that failing to lay down my expectations can cause me to leave the race jaded and disappointed. This race is not about what I want to see, how I hope to serve, where I want to go, and what I want God to do. This race is about partnering with God, going wherever He calls, and just being open to be a vessel He can use whenever and however He wants. It's my embarkation into a life of surrender and service.
I realized that the first step in laying down my expectations would be realizing what my expectations are. I began praying that God would reveal my expectations to me. Because this race was God's idea and not mine, I didn't feel like I was coming in with a bunch of ideas about how my race would go, but I wanted God to show me where I actually am clinging to my own ideas of how this will work. He has begun to reveal a few of my expectations to me, but I know I have a lot more that I am secretly clinging to that He will loosen my grip on in the months to come.
Without futher ado, here are some of my expectations for my world race:
1. I expect to be able to dance with people in Africa. I love to dance in worship, but it isn't something I get to do often in the US. I have seen so many videos from mission trips where people got to dance in worship in Africa. In these videos, everyone looks free and joyful! I want a chance to do that. I will be visiting three African countries (Uganda, Rwanda, and South Sudan) and will be living in Africa for three whole months. I really am hoping to be able to do some dancing.
2. I expect God to provide financially for this trip. Actually, I don't think this is an expectation I need to lay down. In fact, God has promised to meet all of my needs (Philippians 4:19). He has even begun showing me this in a practical way. The day my first blog was posted, I received $700 in donations! I haven't even begun working on a support letter yet and I am almost at my first thousand! Praise God! After seeing those donations come in, I prayed that God would also provide for the needs not covered by the $15,500 (supplies, travel insurance, etc.). I am planning on using my savings for these things, but I wanted God to help provide there as well, as the cost can really run up in that department. The SAME DAY THAT I PRAYED THIS PRAYER, a current racer offered me her tent FOR FREE because she gets back a month before I leave! I didn't even ask her for this! God is so good! I have no doubt He is going to take care of every last need for this trip.
3. I expect to be able to love on babies at some point– in an orphanage or school or something of that sort. I love kids and always have! This is one of those expectations I probably need to lay down. If God calls me to do construction every single month of my race, I need to be okay with that. Actually, I need to even rejoice in that! If that is where the need is, I want to be used where I'm needed. Again, this race isn't about what I want to experience. It is about being used by God to meet the needs of others, regardless of what that looks like.
4. I expect to be a vessel God uses to heal the sick and cast out demons. This is probably going to sound crazy to many of my friends here in the US– even some of my Christian friends! But God has called us, as Christians, to do exactly that! In Matthew 10:8, Jesus says, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." Plus, it is not unusual for racers to be used in this way. (Check out this and this blog if you want to see testimonies of current racers casting out demons and healing the sick.) I believe Holy Spirit can and does empower believers to be used in supernatural ministry. I don't think my expectations there are misplaced. I do, however, believe that I need to lay down my expectations for what this will look like. I get these ideas in my head of instantaneous miracles and exactly what it will look like if God chooses to do these things through me. However, this may require hours of wrestling prayer. It may require putting myself in frightening situations. It may require faith that God has healed even when there is no physical evidence of it. God's ability to heal and set free is so much bigger than my little mental box of ideas and expectations. I need to let go of how I think He works and just let Him work!
5. I expect to be able to have internet access in each country. I want to be able to update my blog frequently, and I want to be able to communicate with Grant, my family, and friends back home. Now, I know this is an expectation I need to lay down! I know a racer whose team is currently in the Philippines helping with flood relief. They have been there all of December, not just without internet, but without electricity! I am going to third world countries. I need to let go of my desire to have unfailing ability to connect with those I love back home. God is still working on this in me. My hope is in the promise that when I cannot turn to those I miss, I CAN turn to God and experience His love in a tangible way! He can hold me when I miss the touch of loved ones and He can speak to me when I cannot hear familiar voices! He does not rely on internet connections, phone lines, or electricity. He is Emmanuel– God with us– and He will be with me in each village, each country, each situation. I can always draw on Him, even when I am lonely.
These are just a few of the expectations God has been revealing to me. Some of my expectations are good (expectations of God's provision and faithfulness). Others are not (expectations of internet and certain ministry opportunities). My heart is a work in progress.
Please pray that God will continue to reveal to me my expectations and help me to let go of those that are not in line with His will. Please pray that as I delight in Him, He will be the source that meets every need of my heart (Psalm 37:4).
Thank you for listening to my heart. Thank you for lifting me up in prayer. I love sharing this journey with you, and I am praying for you as you pray for me. As Christians, we are all part of the same family, the same body. We're in this together!
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