Home Sweet Home.
I returned from the World Race 2.5 months ago and I have been traveling more during these past two months than during the previous 11. (This was mostly unplanned.) I’ve been asked several times which was my favorite country, what was the craziest thing I ate, and where could I see myself going back some day. Once we get past these type of questions people generally hesitate and there is a brief moment of silence. That silence is weighed down with a very powerful question/assumption; do I now despise all Americans and our wealth because I have lived with people in poverty? Most people seem to assume that my answer to that question should be yes. Well, if you believe that let me clear things up, my answer is no. In fact, I feel quite the opposite.
The most important lesson I learned this year was the power that comes from having compassion for my neighbor. It doesn’t matter if my neighbor is a healthy American billionaire, or a malnourished orphan dying of HIV/AIDS, my call to loving the world begins first with loving the person right next to me. One of the biggest mistakes some of us missionaries made during this year was assuming that loving the orphans at our ministry site meant more to God than loving our fellow missionaries sharing our room. We assumed that since we came from the wealthy North America, we needed less love than orphaned children in Haiti, and that it was alright to ignore, judge, or lose patience with our teammates as long as we loved the children well. Our attitude toward one other reflected what our society has taught us; that since we got most of the wealth we are less deserving of the love and more deserving of the negative judgment.
While I am extremely grateful for what wealth has brought us here in the United States, I have so much more compassion for how it has robbed us. Sometimes freedom of choice can rob us of the joy and gratefulness that comes from having something. One year ago I was living in the jungles of Bolivia where the bugs were nearly unbearable, but I was grateful to live near a river that soothed the itch of my bug bites. We lived in tents instead of nice houses but I was so grateful because 1) I had a space to myself inside my tent, and 2) the tent was the only place I was safe from the bugs. We ate oatmeal EVERY morning and I HATE oatmeal, but there I was so grateful for a meal. I lived with 43 people I had just met, but I was so happy that I wasn’t living alone.
Here at home, it’s harder to maintain gratefulness from simply having anything at all in the face of having the choice of getting exactly what our hearts desire. Loss of gratefulness is usually followed by criticism of what we do have and of ourselves. Why is enough stuff never enough to make us happy? Then we begin to critique others and measure their successes or failures up against our own. Eventually we are no longer grateful to have our neighbor’s company but rather we are jealous of them for surpassing us and having more than us, or looking down on them for failing worse than we have. This lense of judgment creates a mental and emotional poverty that is just as destructive as a physical one because it separates us from all who love us, especially God. God is equally sad about our low self-esteems as He is about His children who are orphaned and without food. Without God’s love we are all orphans because He is our true Father and His affection for us is what feeds our souls and gives us worth.
Next time you see me, please ask how my trip made me appreciate the people right here at home even more than before. When I see each person here at home, I’m not judging anyone for having or not having, or for believing in Jesus or not believing in Jesus. As I see each person I thank God for them because it was people right in the United States who prayed for me, paid for me to go overseas, encouraged when I was tired, and loved me abundantly before, during, and after I got home.
Yes, I was blessed by many people in 4 different continents during the past year, but I would have never met them had not family, friends, and strangers here in the United States blessed me first. Thank you. Jesus has opened my eyes to how much He loves all of you and has shown me how to see you as He does, worth loving. I’m not judging you. I’m loving you through the heart of my Heavenly Father and King.
*Thank you all for supporting me through this journey. Currently I am a missionary serving in Georgia with Adventures in Missions the organization that sent us on the World Race I am a Fellow working in the Donor Development Department. I am working as a grant writer to help fund our projects here in the U.S. and in Swaziland. Because we are a nonprofit organization, I am not getting paid by the organization, but by you all. Please consider clicking the support link and donating. Thanks again! Your prayers are always welcomed!
