Courage
It is in Christ’s courage that we find our courage to be true to ourselves. The cross represents God’s total commitment to us. It is our sign and it says that one man remained true to himself. That one man accepted his humanity in its fullness and its poverty, so that we can accept and love our humanity in its fullness and its poverty.
-Br. Robert L’Esperance
Society of Saint John the Evangelist
I was told two things as a child that really shaped my attitudes toward myself and others; “To whom much is given, much is required.” Luke 12:48 and “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” (I don’t know who said this originally but my father is the one who told me!)
By God’s grace, I grew up with a wonderful support system of family, friends and teachers, most of whom told me that I was capable of making all my dreams come true. I treasure their support because so many people don’t reach their dreams because they are not constantly infused with encouragement. However, outside of encouragement and money needed for food and childhood, I was never any good at receiving help graciously. As a result, I took on too many tasks believing I was invincible, and rarely asked for help. So often I burned myself out because I thought I had to do everything myself. In the same way that cigarettes, and french fries kill the lungs and heart respectively, my independent mindset was killing my mind and soul.
Thank God for the call to missions!
When John Donne wrote “No man is an island.” in his Meditation XVII (read it if you haven’t already) he wasn’t kidding! We all really need each other! God called me to serve Him through the World Race for 11 months starting this September 2014, but before I go, He is teaching me how to receive graciously.
Beginning with filling out my application for The World Race, God did not let me fall into the trap of believing that I am primarily on the giving end, and those I encounter are the receivers. I have had to accept help in all forms every step of the way. People have had to constantly encourage me, minister to me, listen to me (anyone who is my friend knows that I much prefer to listen and really struggle with sharing), support me in the lab, support me through fundraising by not only donating their money but helping me get the word out. It has truly been humbling but comforting at the same time.
I’m trying to finish my Ph.D. in chemistry, get into medical school, and raise money to support me while I minister on mission fields completely foreign to me, all in the same few months. I can’t accomplish any of these tasks, much less all three, without a massive community of both believers and nonbelievers helping me. I’m having to accept, in a profound way, that I can’t do it all myself. I am physically, spiritually, and mentally incapable of doing it alone. God designed me to be dependent on Him and the rest of creation. That’s what missionary work has taught me and I haven’t even left yet! This is not about what I have to offer, it’s about what God has to offer us and the gifts we have to offer each other.
My favorite Bible verse is, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 If you want to see the beauty in the hearts of all creation, I dare you to step out in faith and dedicate your life to serving the Lord. You will find more love than you ever dreamed of. It will take great courage and faith to receive that love, because accepting it will force out self-centeredness and self-reliance to make room interdependence and unity with God and all mankind. Try it.
Kaiulani
