Life in Africa has brought new perspective to my life in the states. Do you ever just have a really bad day? That day would be yesterday. No worries, I will not bore you with the details, but by the end of the day yesterday I simply curled up in a ball on my mattress pad of a bed and cried. I cried for what did and did not happen. I cried for the foolish things that I did. I cried for the pain that another caused. I simply cried. Then I remembered. I have a Savior who has promised me a day of no tears. A God who loves me so much He has not closed His eyes to me and made of metal as the Thai gods. A Friend who cares about the intimate details of my life, not only if whether the good I do outweighs the bad. A Creator who is so faithful that every single thing He does comes from a place of love. I have come to realize that I have placed the sin of this world on my Savior. I have attributed the pain that others have caused me and blamed the will of God. I have turned my God into a punching bag when things do not go my way.
My God loves me the same when I am in His presence at a time of heartfelt worship just as much as when I have little desire to worship Him for the 5th hour of the church service. My God loves me just as much as my new friend, a Ugandan Catholic witch doctor who does some serious scary evil stuff. My God loves me just as much on the days when I am pursuing change and growth in my life and this world as the bucket days when all I do is sit on the bucket and grumble about what the world is not. My God loves me just as much the moment I was born without a conscience sin to my name as He does now with a list of sins longer than Santa’s Good and Bad list.
