You provide the fire,
I'll provide the sacrifice.
As we sung this song during the worship tonight, tears started running down my face. The reason why was because I realized what I was sacrificing. I was sacrificing my family, my time to love on them and be around them. I am sacrificing this for a year. I am not only giving them up for a year, I am going to hand them over to the Lord and dive into a deeper relationship with Him.
I struggled today in Washington D.C. because I still have technology to stay in contact with my family back home, and today was the Parents' Night to come and experience a small part of what worship and training sessions looked like for the Racers at Training Camp. It was definitely so great for them to come and be a part of that, to see what we are doing and what we are going to go through. I knew my parents could not make it due to how expensive it was to fly out and then to only see me for a few minutes. So when I said my "goodbyes" in Salt Lake City on Sunday, I knew it would be hard, but I did not realize it would be this hard.
So after the session ended tonight and all the Racers reunited with their parents, I could not help but cry because I knew what I was sacrificing and that I could not hug my parents one last time. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I was comforted by my family here. I was encouraged by how quickly they are to love and to give great hugs, and by what they encouraged me with.
My parents love me so much that they helped nurture and mold me into the person I am today. They are a HUGE part of what I get to share with the people of the nations. Because of all that my parents have done, I get to honor them.
"Mom and Dad, I honor you, I bow down to you. You are a huge blessing to helping mold me, nurture me, love me, encourage me, teach me and prepare me in all the ways that you can (and have) for what is about to happen. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with you as my parents. I could not have asked for anyone better than you two. You two are so patient, kind, loving, so encouraging and supportive in all that happens. You two are going to have a great season of having a time of trusting God. God is going to do great things in your lives this season and I am so excited to see and hear how He is going to move in and change your lives. I love you both so much. So much."
My squad leader, bless his heart, was walking past as I was gathering my things and returning to my room. He asked how I was doing and I said I was doing OK, then asked how he was doing so that I could distract myself from how I really was feeling. He replied he was good and then asked if I really was OK.
"NO! I am so sad!"
I told him that I was missing my family. He replied saying that this is going to not only be a great season for my parents, but a season of where I am going to really experience God in wonderful and whole new ways. I am going to experience a level of comfort with our sweet Father that I have never experienced before. It will be hard and difficult some days, it is OK to mourn and to be upset, but this will be a huge and increadible season with the Lord. I am so excited about this season because I have dreamed about this type of relationship. I have only heard about it before, I want to experience it! I want to live it!
Dear Family and Friends, I am so thankful for each one of you and am excited for you to be a part of what God is doing in my life. I love you all.
Prayers: We leave for India on Thursday, exciting! Prayers for the pilots and all the staff that are helping us fly and get to India, for hearts to be opened in every situation we are in, for us as a squad and individuals to be united with God's heart and that we are obedient to what He is calling us to do.
Also, please pray for me during this time of sadness, that I really look to the Lord for joy in knowing that He is my Father; to really dive into this relationship and experience Him in so many crazy ways!
Song: Fill Me Up by Jesus Culture
