So as I’m sure, you’ve all read blogs about the amazing things that happen on the race. You’ve seen the beautiful pictures and read all about the adventures that can happen.
But what you don’t always read is how hard it actually is.
I’ve had this post written for some time and have contemplated whether or not I should post it. But I figured it could come in handy to any racer or future racer that may be struggling with the same thing.
Life on the race is not always rainbows and butterflies. We go see beautiful places and do some pretty cool things, but you miss some parts. You miss the part where we literally have no family, only the one we’ve built within our squad. You miss the part where we are in places where we don’t speak the language and can’t communicate with anyone. You miss the difficult struggles and frustrations of living in community 100% of the time. And you miss the part where everything is in a constant state of change.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Everything is constantly flipped upside down and turned around. Just when you get a little bit of consistency or routine in a place, you are packing up and saying goodbye again. These past couple of months have been tough for me. I’ve been questioning how it is that I continue on this difficult race. This race that, yes, allows for some amazing opportunities, but also a race that continually breaks me down and breaks my heart.
Upon feeling this way, I took some time last month to really think about why I came on this race. I had completely forgotten my reasoning. And I lost excitement for what I was doing. In such an extreme situation, it’s easy to do that. When you are in a constant changing state, you look to anything to grasp onto. Home, ice cream, music, technology, etc. You try and hang onto that and idolize it. When in reality, He is the one I need to be grasping onto. The Lord is the one who will give me strength to get through the days. He is the one that will comfort me. He is the one that will provide for me. The rest doesn’t matter. Let me repeat that… nothing else matters.
I am happy to say I have a new found rejuvenation for these last 6 months and I can’t believe how incredibly fast this journey is going by. So many amazing things have happened and I’ve been a witness to so many miracles. But the best part is I know this is only the beginning of this journey. It isn’t only 11 months long, but rather the rest of my life.
So to anyone out there struggling, take the time to sit back and think about things. Who or what are you putting first?
I thank each and every one of you for reading this! I’m thankful for all the encouragement and support! As always, I love you all!
Xoxo,
Kaitlin
