In previous posts, I’ve mentioned fears. So I decided to dedicate an entire blog post to fears; both mine and of my loved ones. (These include the fears of multiple people). *Both leading up to and on the race included*
My fears
- Being away from my loved ones for almost an entire year
- Having the feeling of not being able to do more
Others’ fears
- My safety
- Being gone for 11 months
- Not being able to be in contact
- Not knowing how to say goodbye for 11 months
- Being forgotten by me
- Battling homesickness, illness & other every day struggles alone
- Hating it
- Not adjusting to any country or being able to adjust when I get back
- Not getting along with my teammates (come on people, you know me better than that. I’m the girl who had to be sat alone in class because I made friends & talked with EVERYONE)
- Not coming back the same “Kaitlin”
So as you can see, my list of fears is much, much shorter than that of my loved ones’.
While I may not be able to erase these fears permanently, I’m hoping I can at least somewhat ease them. I’m coming home and I will still be the same ‘ole Kaitlin I’ve always been, might just have a different outlook on God, life, and love. It’s not goodbye, it’s “see you later.” I will have days of homesickness, but that’s where my teammates, my new family, comes in. They will be there for me in times of need, just like I will be there for them unconditionally. I am not alone. I have God, my team’s support, and the support from back home. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be hard. I can’t imagine what my friends and family are feeling of me being gone for so long, but I will be just fine. More than fine, I will be great. I am in God’s hands.
xoxo,
Kaitlin
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13.
