Seeing my reflection in my full-length mirror, I hated what I saw. Dressed in just my bikini, I could see every flaw, every imperfection. Not only that, the judgment went deeper than just my outward appearance.
You’re fat. You’re ugly. You’re not good enough. You’re not worthy.
For years I’ve believed in these lies.
Although I was good at covering it up, I had the lowest self-esteem imaginable. Few people saw how truly trapped I was in my lies. I couldn’t see what everyone else saw in me.
More importantly, I couldn’t see what God saw in me.
A few weeks ago, all of that changed.
It started with an encounter with a homeless woman.
I was walking along the streets of Waikiki at night when I passed a bunch of homeless people on the side of the road. One of them had a sign propped up asking for food donations. I passed by them not wanting to stop, but God put it on my heart to go back.
After a second of indecision, I dug through my purse and grabbed half a sandwich that I was planning to eat later on and made my way back to where the homeless people were. I approached a woman and gave her my sandwich.
I started talking to her and asked her if I could pray for her. It took some time and translation for her to understand, but she finally understood and nodded her consent.
So on the side of the road in the hustle and bustle of Waikiki, I laid hands on this woman and started praying.
When I was done I looked her in the eye, and proclaimed, “You are beautiful—inside and out.” At first I was startled at what came out of my mouth. Here she was, this old woman who had rotten teeth, hadn’t showered in a long time, smelled bad, and yet when I looked at her all I could see was Jesus’ reflection in her.
I saw what Jesus saw in her.
She was beautiful and I meant it.
In 1 Peter 3:3-4 it says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
This encounter rocked me. God allowed me to see beauty in a new light. From that point on, I was able to meet prostitutes and other homeless women and proclaim how truly beautiful they were inside and out—the way God saw them as His daughters.
Since that life-changing night, I’ve had incredible mentors and pastors come into my life that helped with the renewing of my mind.
I’ve cast aside all the lies that I’ve believed in the past.
In Psalms 139:15 it says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Now when I stand before my mirror, I look at my reflection and proclaim that I am indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. I see what God sees in me both inside and out.
I praise and thank God for creating me in His image.
In this day and age with the media and everything else going on, it’s easy to slip into a negative mindset and believe in the lies. But that’s not what God wanted for us. He created all of us in His image.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.
