What is life? Am I really in Malawi, Africa? Am I really traveling the world at 18 years old? I still cannot wrap my mind around it; I still think it is insane. And now, the first month of Africa is drawing to a close and I don’t know what to think.Time is flying by, memories are being made, and growth is happening. But let me tell you, it has not been all rainbows and butterflies. The field is hard. Life on the race is hard.
It is hard missing Thanksgiving and Christmas with your family.
It is hard having to pay a boatload of money on wifi just to speak to them on the holidays.
It is hard not having the comforts and traditions of home during these times.
But it is all worth it when you see the purest smiles on your host family’s faces as you give them the only Christmas presents they have ever receieved and when you finally realize the true reason for the season is Jesus.
It is hard living with new and amazing people only to leave them later.
It is hard giving your heart again and again to people you will probably never see again.
It is hard always choosing love.
But God uses these people, these relationships, this love in ways many of us will never even see. He will use our hearts to make large impacts in a small amount of time. Therefore, even when it hurts to say goodbye, I know God is using these precious times to bring His kingdom closer. So, I will continue to give more love with every person Jesus brings into my wake.
It is hard living in a small house with 13 girls with one shower and one toilet.
It is hard only being able to shower once to twice a week because there is no water.
It is hard not knowing whether your chaco tan line is a tan line or a dirt stain.
But who really needs hygiene anyway?
It is hard not having a bed for four months.
It is hard not knowing when or if you will have electricity.
It is hard having wifi only once a week.
But it shows that these comforts are not a necessity. They are things we, in America, take for granted. We forget that others do not have the common comodities we do. But I am being shown that I can do without and it makes me better for it. It is showing me a new culture and a new way to live that is simpler and more people-based, rather than stuff-based.
It is hard having cockroaches run over your hand at night.
It is hard having to smash them again and again because those suckers will not die.
It is hard waking up to the screams of girls because one has just bitten her neck.
But… but nothing, cockroaches are the absolute worst.
It is hard living living with 13 girls for months in small quarters.
It is hard never getting any privacy or alone time.
It is hard having feedback (which is when we tell each other what we need to work on)
But it is teaching me how to live in a beautiful Christ-based community. It is teaching me about real living: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is teaching me to constantly be checking my heart. It is a challenging, yet amazing opportunity to be encouraged to become more like Jesus everyday. Plus, wow, I have been making some golden friendships.
It is hard waking up for ministry day after day.
It is hard not having control about what you will be doing tomorrow.
It is hard not being able to just stay home or take a “sick” day.
But it is showing me how to completely lean on God and trust Him for energy and strength to carry on. He is the one comforts me on bad days and strengthens me on weak days. He continues to answer my prayers; I could not do this without Him.
LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALL! OH AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂
