Sometimes, okay I lied, a lot of times; I forget that God knows me better than I know myself. I forget that the One, who takes care of every single bird on this earth, will take care of me. I forget about God’s faithfulness and I end up striving to get things done in my own strength and timing. I’m guilty of tunnel vision a lot of times, God shows me something or gives me a vision and that becomes all I can see. I completely remove myself from what’s going on around me at that moment in time or season and I lose myself in the future. I forget that God has made everything beautiful in its time and to rush and not trust in His timing you’re bound to get anything less than what He desires for you.
I’ll be completely honest, this whole fundraising thing is uncomfortable to me and I’ve wanted to rush it and skip as much of the process as I could, so I could hurry up and get to the next part of the journey, without having to face any of the fears and challenges and stretching that even the idea of fundraising brings up in me. But God! “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) I know that I know that I know that God has called me to the World Race and I made the plans and applied and stepped out in faith, but He is ultimately the one who determines every single step of this entire journey, because every part of this journey is vital and just as important as the next.
A runner doesn’t sprint the whole 13.1 miles, they pace themselves and a lot of times I forget to keep Jesus as my pacer. I want to hurry up and finish the race but I disregard the importance of stretching and in the past it’s ended in injury. Some parts of the race hurt more than others, but every single step is necessary. Facing the fear of asking people for their support is necessary. Replacing the lie that I’m doing this for selfish reasons with God’s truth that I’ve been called and chosen and that he has ordained every single one of my days since before I was even born and given me gifts not for myself but to help build up the Body of Christ and to love the outcast and those that are overlooked, is definitely necessary. Sharing my story, the ugliest and messiest parts of it and allowing myself to become vulnerable, is necessary. Building relationships and allowing others to be blessed by blessing me and enabling me to do God’s work, is so necessary. Cancelling a spirit of worry and learning to be still in His presence where he reassures me that he will provide all of my needs according to his glorious riches, is absolutely necessary. In every single step God is building endurance, strength, and humility within me and those are certainly necessary to continue on in any race!
I’m so thankful to serve a God who knows me better than I know myself, one who cares enough to grab me by the back of my shirt and lets me run in place for a while until I slow down and look around to see that I’m going nowhere in my own strength. He knows what I need before I even ask and he knows exactly when to give it to me. He’s never late and he’s never early; He’s an on time God! I was making a shake the other day and mixed up my oats, strawberries, and milk before I realized I had ran out of bananas, which is like the end of the world to me because bananas are hands down the greatest fruit God ever created, and shakes aren’t shakes without them! I was bummed and was about to hurry and throw something else together when I heard a knock at my door. Mrs. Ruth, the sweet little old lady down the hall who’s always re-gifting things in the building and giving me random things like old picture frames and newspapers (I live in an apartment building with a lot of elderly people) was standing at my door with not one but TWO bananas for me. Like what? God knows us; he knows our likes and dislikes. God knows the stretching that must take place on this part of my race. He knows I have to learn how to trust in him and in his timing in a way I’ve never had to lean on him before in order to finish the race in a way that will glorify Him. I love that God will use the silliest things, like a banana, to remind me of his faithfulness and perfect timing. I love the fact that He loves us so much that when we surrender everything to him, like our will, time, feelings, plans, thoughts, and expectations, he is faithful to do more than we could’ve ever asked or imagined.
“God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you’re ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,
He throws caution to the winds, giving to the needy in reckless abandon.His right-living, right-giving ways never run out, never wear out.
This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.” (2 Corinthians 9:8-11)
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)
