Goodbyes.
They’re messy.
They’re sometimes full of tears and not a lot of words. They’re awkward and weird.
The last two weeks, while full of training and excitement for what’s to come, have been threaded with some really, really hard goodbyes. Goodbyes that I didn’t expect to be so difficult.
For me, the departure has become normal. Leaving is almost part of who I am. I thought I was going to be a champ in these hugs and byes.
But what does being a champ actually mean? Is there a right way to do a goodbye?
I don’t know the answer to that but what I have learned is there is an art to releasing people and being released.
One thing I’ve learned is that releasing people means that we release the season that was. The season of spending weekends together. The season of weekly dinners. The season of being five minutes away or in the same house.
We release the expectation that if and when that person comes back things will be the same as they were. We release the expectations that weekends together will happen again. We release the expectation that we will ever even be in the same city again.
We accept that the season was a beautiful one and that the Lord did some really great things but we also accept that there is going to be goodness in the new seasons even if they look different.
“We knew that the Grand Rapids season was singular, never to be repeated. But I don’t think we knew the life and force and influence these friendships would have beyond that season. I don’t think we knew that when we see each other a few times a year, there would still be trust and honesty and love, that we would still care about each other in so many ways and understand each other so well, even across the distance and the time zones and the life changes.” -Bread and Wine
While goodbyes are hard I am learning that having people that are hard to leave is a beautiful thing. Having relationships that are real and honest are the toughest ones to release. Releasing people is tricky. Trusting the Lord with them is a dependence that I’m learning and not quite mastering yet.
Trusting that for me to leave is the best thing. For them to stay is the best thing. For them to leave, for me to stay is the best thing. Trusting that even if I can’t talk to my people every day, it doesn’t change how much they care about me. It doesn’t change how much I love them.
It’s just different.
Going from face to face to emails is good. Going from face to face to seeing each other through an iPhone is good. Going from talking on the phone everyday to maybe every few weeks is good. Somehow, it is good.
Last season was full of goodness.
Next season will be full of goodness.
But right now, this season is the best yet.
Right now, this moment, is my favorite.
