A recurring theme of my race is that my thoughts are not the same as God's thoughts, neither are my ways His ways, and my worries are just downright ridiculous to Him.
I'm finishing my 7th month of the race, I turned 23 three weeks ago, and when I close my eyes lately I can almost taste the 80% humidity, 96 degrees, and constant valley breezes that make up the air of my Nothern Virginia August. It is a striking reality that there is an end to this race – and the question that many racers are more than dreading right now (but will – no doubt – hear FREQUENTLY for the next 4 months) is this: "So, what's next?"
You mean what does my flesh want next or what does God have for me next?
It's easy for my flesh to answer that one…
steady paycheck, somewhere to live, puppy, easy access to my friends and family, potentially a boyfriend at some point who loves the Lord more than he loves anything or anyone else and isn't afraid to pursue me in a way that honors God – with boldness and integrity.
…
I want a community of believers who will love me enough to hold me accountable to operating in biblical truth, but will still laugh with me about stupid videos and parodies that I write in the moment and will scream at the TV while watching football games with me (oh, man, how much I missed American football this year…).
…
I want a place to call my home and a future with a husband who occasionally forgets valentine's day until the day of, but always remembers to take out the trash. I want a dog to go hiking with and a few kids and a ministry that God uses to teach me fresh, beautiful truths for my whole life.
…whoa. How did I go from just wanting a steady paycheck and somewhere to live to a husband, house, kids, and a dog?
Oh, I was letting my flesh answer that silly "what's next?" question.
But, honestly, my flesh is the only part of me with an answer to that question…and that's scary.
It's scary because I have friends, parents, siblings, grandparents, and a church congregation who have watched and lovingly supported me over the past 2 1/2 years as I:
"discontinued" school,
worked for the world's largest IT company,
and then left that opportunity-of-a-lifetime job,
fundraised $14,800.00 to do this crazy thing called the World Race that has taken me out of everything I've ever known for 11 months straight…
not to mention all the money I've needed while I've been out here when crazy things have happened like literally ALL of my electronics inexplicably failing or breaking in a multitude of ways, or getting malaria and needing to pay for a test, treatment, and doctor visit…
and then it's really easy, as I let my flesh answer the "what's next?" question, to start letting satan in my head with lies like:
-Everyone you know is sick of you asking for money
-It's irresponsible for you to do anything other than going back to school or back to work
-You're 23, it's time for your life to start taking a definitive direction
-If you ever want to get married, you need to start settling down now
-You need more security
-You're becoming a burden to the people who love you
Three years ago, if you'd asked me "what's next?" I would've told you I was getting my degree in musical theatre, working professionally for a few years, getting my masters in teaching, and teaching the rest of my life while I paid off my student loans.
Two years ago, if you'd asked me "what's next?" I would've told you I was getting double Bachelors Degrees in Communication and Anthropology and then looking for an internship and trying to figure out how to get out of debt.
A year ago, if you'd asked me "what's next?" I would've told you I had just paid off all of my financial debt and was preparing to leave the states with approximately 45 strangers to take the Gospel to 11 different nations.
So…what happens if I answer that question with my spirit instead of my flesh? what if I answer out of faith instead of emotion?
what if I answer it the way the Bible tells me to?
what if I answer it in Truth?
Coming up on my 8th month straight of not having any idea what I'm going to be doing until I'm doing it, I am fully secure in the reality that none of us know what's next, and that scripture calls it arrogance for us to boast about what we will do in coming days and weeks
– much less years –
because none of us really know.
So, What's next?
The adventure continues,
I acknowledge the Lord in all of my steps,
I submit myself to Him and He gives me the desires of my heart – desires I don't even know I have yet.
I seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else that I'll ever need is added to me.
I fix my eyes on the hope of glory and I continue to go out speaking the good news and calling God's children into His Kingdom, and His Spirit goes with me with accompanying signs and wonders.
I decide to live a life of worship even back in the states, and I choose not to worry about provision.
I strive honor the people placed in my life and I daily ask God to establish in me a character of integrity and grace that honors the Lord in all of my relationships.
Oh, you mean logistically?
I'll ask God when I get there.
That method seems to work out better than anything else I've ever done or seen done.
