“There is a God shaped hole in my heart!”
Upon hearing these simple words lately, I am reminded that God is the only one that can fill that void in my life. For far too long, I have been striving to fill that void in so many other things. I would pursue education ruthlessly, embrace service to a fault, and combat Satan in the lives of others, all the while, I was neglecting myself. It seems so mundane of an issue. However, as with most things that settle in my life, manifestation begins to occur. I blocked out God to the point where the feeling of joyously following the Father began to feel coarse. In fact, the mere mention of God as a Father, simply seemed like a chore or duty. In my blinded eyes, I felt as though I was running towards the Father, yet I was treating God as though I were a slave to his communist regime. I really cannot bear to explain in any other words than that. I checked off every box I felt that God had led me to, that he ended up being a dictator in my life.
Thankfully, with the renewing of my whole being, I realized that I was filling the void in my life with all the wrong things. I was replacing God with the encroaching prowess of accomplishment. The suppression was certainly manageable but it wasn’t real. I was living tainted. Suddenly, in the midst of this revival in my life, I understand that God is my Dad. He is more personal. He wants to run towards me, so that He can carry me, embrace me, and captivate me. He wants me to radiate his exuberance so that the world can see Him through me. Jesus, through his death on the cross, brought Dad and I back together. So as I draw near to God, it is nothing near the way he has drawn close to me. I feel so utterly speechless. Dad has a deeper meaning for my life than the wishful pursuits I have fiercely fought for in the past. Part of his unveiling to me was Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is not dead, and is not a fixture to be replaced by sound theology. Dad sent his Son to proclaim a glorious message, which in turn was the catalyst for Holy Spirit to indwell in the lives of you and me. There is an innate WOW factor that Dad has given you and me the power to do glorious wonders in His perfect name. By giving me life in Jesus, God has filled the massive hole in my life and confirmed his presence thought Holy Spirit. He is a good, amazing Father!
I no longer feel the need to pile on accomplishments in my life to feel satisfactory. My aspirations are not mine anymore. Medical school can wait, as I am convinced that the World Race is the mission God has planted in my heart to do for Him before I go onto bigger things. Dad has given me a challenge to serve Him in an astounding, radical way. Things come and go as Ecclesiastes points out, but the ordained life God has set before me is what I am here to pursue. I pray that all of you reading this would feel and embrace the infinite Dad and trust in his beloved Son Jesus. Do not fear the working of Holy Spirit for God is doing a great work among you.
Progress Report:
I am 52% funded! My goal is to reach $1,600 dollars by April! I understand that is a lofty goal, but I pray that you would consider partnering with me! In the pecking order of all life’s hardballs, I truly get that you might be hesitant to donate. Please just pray about it. See if Dad has placed it on your heart to donate to my mission. There are absolutely more deserving and engaging people, but I pray that you would sponsor this broken man, Justin Kent. I know that my impact on the mission field could be carried out by others. I am just a sinner striving to live out God’s will in my life! So why not join in with me to God’s hand and feet to the 11 countries He has called me to!!??
