*Note* This blog was written during my first week in Malaysia…so sorry for the delay (especially you Mom!) and I promise to keep all of you more up to date!
So in the weeks leading up to going back out into the nations (and still in this first week in Malaysia), I’ve been wrestling with the notion of “letting go”…again. You would think that having left home, family, and friends for 11 months in the past, it wouldn’t be an issue the second time around. After all, I’m a squad leader, so I’ve been prepped by Adventures in Missions regarding abandonment, brokenness, etc. In fact, as a leader, I’m supposed to be helping to encourage and challenge K-squad to let go – of expectations, fears and home life.
However, these are the very same things that I find myself struggling with while launching into Malaysia. But this second time around there is also an internal struggle that is taking place – one in my heart. It’s a struggle that I know exists, even when others don’t. I’ve found that as a Christian going out to do missions work it’s very easy to fool people. It’s easy to hear the praise of others about “sacrifice” and “obedience” and begin to feel really good about yourself…. all the while your heart is in a totally different place. Even in the mission field while doing the Lord’s work it’s possible to be doing the “right” things with the wrong heart.
I recently read Luke 14 and was reminded of Christ’s words to those who wanted to follow Him:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26-27
These words are powerful and challenging! I’m realizing, however, that surrender to the Lord is more than a one-time event. A life of surrender comes about by a continual, daily choice to surrender to God’s will and the Holy Spirit’s leading – in our actions and in our heart. I’d love to say that I’m fully surrendered to the Lord in both of these areas, but if I did I’d be lying. So I ask that you pray for me and also for K Squad as we begin this journey. Pray for obedience to His will, guidance and promptings. Pray for complete surrender. Surrender in the areas that people can see, and the areas that they can’t. Pray that we give everything to the Lord daily so that we might walk as His disciples.
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.” Mark 10:29-30
