Waiting in line at Walmart on a mundane Monday evening, a song soars through my mind. Usually waiting is a bore but for some reason, tonight, I just don’t mind. Alive in the moment, melodies float through my head and my lips mimic the rhythm. Barum, Barumpet tim tum. Doo dee Da Phrumpt Bloom Shrraaaa Shish shaaaaa. My toes tap, knees buckle and bend, and I can’t get this silly song out of my head. It’s so catchy. At least it’s a good song and not one of those awful choruses that make you want to drive a nail gun through your skull – you know exactly what I mean. Running errands after hours is usually a chore, but right now, as I pause and take it all in, I feel so incredibly alive. These tiny moments remind me that life exists in the unnoticed details. Life is a beautifully elusive sonnet and somehow in the midst of it all we miss all the tiny, bright xylophone clashes, delicate chimes, and the clear channeled cellos. We just miss all the beauty in the background noise.
Beautiful moments happen unexpectedly. Outside the all-night Walmart, Ritchie and I sit in a pitch black van and listen to rock & roll songs on fm radio and just take a moment to breathe. He talks and I devour one of those ridiculously small Ben & Jerry’s cups like there’s no tomorrow. The itty-bitty spoon they hide in the lid is funny and Ritchie gives me one of those retarded “What are you doing?” looks. He stares in ridiculous amazement and wonder at me fumbling with a more than miniscule spoon. Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream is just so delightfully tasty and I’m reminded that good things can come in small packages that only cost a dollar and change. This moment feels created just for me, and maybe it is. God works like that.
Sometimes God asks me to pause and take it all in. Breathe. Exhale. Wonder. Somewhere lost, gawking in amazement at God, I paused and silently prayed. I asked God to reveal all those places that I need more work. Where do I need to learn more humility? And as I sat there and just chatted with my Dad, he told me He was pleased. He’s happy that His son cares to talk to him, ask His advice, and well, just hang out. As children, we grow up and suddenly forget that we need our mom and dad, until of course we find ourselves in hot water. Then suddenly, we need them to stick a Band-aid on our bruised knee and send us back out to play. I can relate. I’ve taken God – and my parents – for granted and yet He never disowns me. He continues to love me and in this miniature moment, I feel utterly blessed. Everything is just right. I pause and remind myself how good I have it.
My thoughts burst like fireworks during a Fourth of July thunderstorm and I pause again, unsure of how to express myself. I’m listening to the Mumford & Sons cd I bought last night along with my mini Ben & Jerry’s cup. It mystifies me that $10.41 can buy something so beautiful. Being broke has its advantages. I appreciate the small things more, like sitting here on my unkept bed drinking bitter black coffee and listening to English folk songs. I honestly didn’t even know the Brits made folk music – apparently they do. It’s like one of those quirky things that just cater to my weird side I guess. My heart floats away from me as I hear the banjos blare and trumpets ring so true. One song ends, another begins, and I’m reminded that life happens in those itty-bitty in-between moments when we’re not paying attention.
Negative space is an important concept that young artists usually don’t understand. The background is just as important as the foreground. The places where your eye rests are just as essential as the places where all the “business” happens. Without visual breaks – pauses where our eyes can rest – we quickly become overwhelmed and nothing in the picture makes sense. Life also requires pause, breaks. It’s these small, delicate moments where we breathe and enjoy this, all that He’s created. You know He created all this for us, right? I’m again reminded that God is in the gaps, those moments where we don’t see or hear anything at all. In these momentary pauses, I cherish life because suddenly I see all the stunningly unexpected, teeny-tiny details that are beyond beautiful and I just can’t contain myself. My knees buckle and – even though I can’t sing – I can’t help but break out in song.
