I went on my first prayer walk through a red light district in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. I read all about these in other racers blogs but being in the midst of it tonight was truly too much. My heart was broken for all involved in this way of life, and I allowed anger to settle in and consume me. I was fully aware of the terrible cycle of addiction and power and greed and brokenness, and I admit I have serious doubts that some of these men can be reached. Outside of each Brothel sits groups of little old pudgy men half drunk chain smoking cigarettes. I assume these are the pimps. It truly disgusts me that these men make a living off the sale of a woman's body, and that many of these women were sold into this life when they were little girls, some even by their own parents. All I can think is that is someones daughter, or sister, and that they really deserve to know that they are loved.
I admittedly let anger settle in and consume me. The kind of anger where I though violence would fix something, where I thought that physical harm would change the way their minds work. I was angry at the “pimps” for making a profit from a fellow human beings body, at the men who frequent these places for putting the demand in “Supply and Demand.” I was angry at how complicated and interconnected everything is in that everyone knows about it here but no one says anything. Money talks, and the truth is always kept behind the curtains for the right price. This whole atmosphere is very heavy and dark and weighs on my heart the way ice weighs on tree limbs in an ice storm. You can come here and never see any of this, you can avoid these streets and enjoy the sights and sounds of the city, but once your eyes are opened you can't look at it the same again.
I struggled with all of this big time, God broke me like never before. How do you love something so dark and void of Gods presence. How do you help or reach out to people like this? I don't have the answers. I prayed my face off and truly spilled my heart to God while walking around there, but I am still consumed with doubt that this method will ever affect these men. I now know why there are so few men working in anti-sex trafficking missions, it is hard work and it strained my heart and soul just being in that environment.
I know that I have only seen the very smallest tip of a massive iceberg, but that was all it took. There is a lot brewing in my heart and mind right now and I am going to have to process everything over the next couple of days once my emotions dim a bit. Stay tuned for a post processing update and what God works out in me in regards to how I am to help in this cause.
