A unique way to bring in my bday to say the least…
Going to the bars 5-6 nights a week to build relationships with bar girls, lady boys, tourists, and kids wandering the streets selling flowers is also where I was when the clock struck mid-night Feb 2. More specifically I was having a local beer, listening to a partial life-story of one such 25 yr old bar girl, Brittany, who dropped out of 4 yr university to earn money in the bar scene, but got entangled in it like most do and has spent about a year and half selling her body to wandering tourists. My 5″11 friend, Chad, was playing billiards with a 6″1 lady boy in heels who shoots pool like an ace. He lost…but most do. My new friend was a petite slender girl who might pass for a model in Asia by some standards, so when I learned 2 days later (from another ladyboy in that bar) that she was actually a he, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I thought I had become pretty good at detecting the lady boys with their deeper voices, larger facial structure, or at least their Adam’s apple, but this one hid all such features as she sang Happy Birthday to me as the clock struck 12 and I turned ever closer to 30.
Its sad to hear her/his story… as Brittany was on her way to a 4 yr degree in tourism and computers before the red light districted sucked her in to make a quick buck (or Baht). She now thinks shes too old at 25 to make anything of her self and believes her window of opportunity is closing its doors quickly. I sat there for another 30 mins encouraging her that shes still young (as I tried to make myself believe that same thing having just turned 28 half an hour earlier), and that theres so many other options for her out there. She smiled and ask if I could help her get better with her English. “Of course…I’ll come by as much as I can to help you practice English” I replied, to help encourage her to enroll back in school this summer which she is contemplating. The next two nights I swung by that bar, but didn’t see her around. Found out she was purchased for the weekend by a man who was also seeking fulfillment in his life or at least on his weekend getaway. Its a tough scene…progress always feels like 1 step forward then 2 steps back. But there are break-through moments that help me believe we are making a small difference.
For example, many of my teammates have struck up conversations with tourists about their search for God, spirituality or meaning of life talk, that has led to an exchange of emails to keep the conversation alive. Other girls on my team have planned afternoon haircuts or shopping dates with the bar girls during the day.
My bright spot so far has been with a bar girl named, Ahn, who I met last month when my friend and I prayed over her that God would miraculously provide money for her in other ways so she could support her 1 yr old son who lives with his grandma 10 hours away. When I came back to Thailand this month she recognized me as I walked past her bar, ran out to me yelling my name (how she remember my name is beyond me) and pulled me into her bar. She was excited to tell me something. After I embarrassingly admitted I had forgotten her name, but assuredly hadn’t forgotten her face, she proceeded to tell me what happen just hours after my friend and I prayed for her 3 weeks ago. She starts off, “A customer gave me 2000 baht!” I thought “great!” before realizing she probably meant after purchasing her for the night. But she continued, “He came by, ordered a drink, then left me a 2000 baht tip! (equivalent to about $66 – or perhaps a bartender in America getting a $1000 tip). Then he just got up and left. I thought I was the luckiest girl around (since tipping isn’t customary in Thailand), but then I remembered that you prayed for me just an hour before!” (I cleaned up her grammar) But I was as excited as she was to hear this story.
Normally when I hear such stories, the cynic in me reverts to the convenient word of coincidence. But as many books I’ve read point out, the more you pray, the more coincidence tend to happen that mirror your prayers. Coincidence? This answer to what Ahn might have called a “pie in the sky prayer,” if she knew the saying, had opened doors to a friendship with her and subsequently the entire staff at her bar where my teammates and I frequent almost nightly. We’ve even formed such good relationships with the bar owner (who is a middle school teacher by day with 2 kids- not an evil witch) that we are often offered free snacks from their private stash whenever we stop in.
My favorite moment this month so far was that Ahn accepted my invitation to go bowling with me and my 12 world race friends for my bday. Seemingly a simply RSVP, but bowling in the evening for 3-4 hours meant she had to forgo working that night for that same amount of time where she could be picking up men for their wallets instead of picking up spares for high-fives.
Don’t worry, I haven’t lost my eye-sight on the race… but I will keep these frames in case I ever do.
You probably guessed, but this is Ahn.
She enjoyed girl talk and good food as well. Luckily there are awesome girls on my team!
What a party without load of ice-cream in rice bowls
Believe it or not, this wasn’t the only time my friend Rachael ended up on the floor with her ball. They should knee pads for the less coordinated. (love you Rach)
It took 3 games and the final frame of the last game- but she finally got her Strike!
Playing with my new gift! Nerf never goes out of style.
Here’s the Chiang Mai gang… 2 World race teams and our new friend, Ahn.
Bday Balloons!
A peak in to bar street:
Chad and I getting to know a 20 and 30 yr old pair of sisters who have been working in the bar less than 2 weeks. Neither of them really like it, but its the best money they can make. The little guy, Leo, is the son of a bartender who runs around the bars all night as if it were his home. Not ideal, but better than running around on the street selling roses as many parents turn their cute kids in to marketing gimmicks to tourists on bar street. This seems to be the choice for many here… a bad and really bad one.
We try to communicate a 3rd one…one that takes the 3rd member of the Trinity to have it really sink in.
