Let me just throw it out there: God gave me a dream.
Yes, you read correctly. God gave me a dream!! I want to start out by saying I've been a skeptic for the last 8 years of my walk with God. I believed God was good and stuff, yada yada yada, but the things in the bible were for people in the bible. Not for us. Not all of it, anyways.
But I stand corrected. I stand in awe of God's goodness and even more-so, His love. Let me explain..
I went to training camp for the mission's trip. It ruined me. I wanted this… God gave me that. I expected that… God gave me the thing next to that. You get the idea. I was upset. I was depressed. I was sad. But if you read my last blog, you know that God was teaching me something different. He was tearing down my idea of Him and rebuilding it with His reality.
After this revelation that God cares for me unconditionally (new concept, bare with me).. I began to pray.
I started to pray for change. I've prayed for change for a while, but this time i prayed boldly. I asked God to SHOW me His love.
AND HE DID.
The dream was long… I don't remember most of it. What i do know is that i was walking with someone the entire time. A chubby little latino boy around 8 or 9 years old. If you've ever seen Nacho Libre, he kind of looked like the little chubby kid they call, "Chancho." Hence the title of the blog.
As I walked side by side with this little boy, we came up on a hallway. We were under a light overhead and against the handle railing along the side of the hall. Ahead were small groups of people, but instead of noticing them like i usually would, i felt something.. Something was wrong with my little friend. I didn't know what was wrong but i remember an urgent sense of love and concern for his heart.
At this time, he split in two. I know that sounds weird, but in the dream it wasn't. His round, earthly body was now laying on a table against the wall. It was lifeless-an empty shell. But it was okay. I knew he was fine. Then i looked down into my arms and there was a baby. I knew instantly that this was my buddy because i recognized him. Not his appearance, but *him.*
I needed to know what was wrong with the boy that i loved so deeply. So he spoke. He spoke words of self-hatred and told me that he hated his appearance-the way he looked. He said that he was too chubby and he knew in his mind that he was less-than. That he was unlovable.
I wasn't concerned, just sad. Deeply saddened because i knew him. I knew that he was so much more. I asked him to listen to what i had to say and with hopeful eyes he looked up at me and i poured out. "Don't you ever worry about what you look like." With passion, I reminded him that he was so much more-that he was precious to me. That he was perfect because i saw him as so. Every flaw and every imperfection was redeemed.
Love for this boy welled up inside of me like i can't describe in words. It was tangible. I was proud to be around other people and pronounce my love for him. I was proud to pronounce his freedom.
Truth spilled from my mouth and he accepted. He wrapped his small hand around my neck and i just held him. In that moment, we were complete. We left his lifeless exterior in the hallway and walked away..
I can still feel him there.
When i woke up from this dream, i started to get ready for work. I walked around, oblivious that i had even dreamt. But then God reminded me. I stopped in my tracks as i replayed the dream in my mind.
At first I didn't get it. It was definitely a strange dream.. Was it prophetic? Am i going to adopt a latino kid on the race?
Then God revealed the dream.
I am the boy.
WE ARE THE BOY.
It's the best news ever!
God gave me a chance.. a small glimpse to feel and experience his intense, unshakable, never-ending, fatherly love for me. For us.
And i FELT IT. I can still feel him there.
How good it must feel to have your children confide in you! And how good it feels to come to my Father.
How good it must feel to speak truth into your son and have him hold onto your word. And how good it feels to know God's truth.
How good it must feel to hold your son. And how good it feels to be held and rest in my Daddy's hands.
God answered my prayer. I asked to feel his love, so with a dream he SHOWED me.
GOD LOVES US SO MUCH. He wants to be our comforter. He wants to remind us. He wants us to call Him daddy.
It's the gospel! He did everything in His power to redeem us, and He did! All we have to do is reach out and accept that freedom. Accept the love that already is.
Today, i am reminded that God is so faithful. That He answers prayer. That He loves and loves and loves, and then when I'm tired of being loved, He loves me some more. I am free. We are free.
My name is Chancho, and i am a son of the Holy One.
