Let me tell you about a little girl who stole my heart in Thailand. There was this little girl named Zin Mar Myiet who one day was sitting in church and came up to me and sat down. She then grabbed my hand and began to lean on me as she spoke in Burmese. I had no idea what she was saying, but she was definitely cute. Just sitting and holding this girls hand I felt love I had never felt before. This was someone, a little girl who didn’t know me at all but was brave enough to come sit down and hold my hand.
After spending the church service holding her hand I left church and I felt as if God were telling me to really love this child. Going back to Colombia I had two girls steal my heart as well and it was the hardest thing to leave them both. Now at that moment God was telling me ‘I want you to love this girl as you loved them.’ This was a scary idea to me because I didn’t want to have those feelings again and then pick up and leave, feeling heartbreak broken. It was too rough the first time. When I went back to Church the following Sunday she came running up and hugged me asking me to play with her. It didn’t take long before I saw what God wanted me to see. He wanted me to come to a place where I wouldn’t have a fear of love. I’m not talking about being afraid of the concept of love, but the fear of loving someone and knowing I would have to leave. God wanted me to show the love I showed in past months now to a young girl, to choose to not be afraid and get close and love her.
When I left that day and I knew it would be the last time I was going to see her, I had butterflies in my stomach, I didn’t want to have to go through this again. When I got there I held her through church again and didn’t want the service to end because I loved her company. When it came time to leave she came up to me and said “see you tomorrow.” I was thinking ‘crap, I now have to face this head on.’ When I told her I wouldn’t be back she looked confused. When she finally figured it out that I wouldn’t be there, she held me tighter. She must’ve held onto me until I hopped on the motor bike and left. She would hug me then walk off, then continue to come up for another hug, always holding me tighter. As I was riding off I looked back at her and she smiled and waved to me. My heart has been there ever since that moment.
It was hard to leave her and to say goodbye but God showed me that I could love without a fear of heartbreak. I believe He was showing me ‘this is how I love my children, I love them no matter how bad it hurts when they stray, when they don’t love me back, and when they don’t even know me. I still love them and I will never fail to love you the same way too.’ God loves us so much and He was showing me that this little girl had experienced Him through me, and through her I saw Christ. When I drove off and I saw the smile on her beautiful face, I didn’t just see her, I also saw the face of Jesus with a big smile saying “thank you for loving me.”
