All my life I have loved starry nights. When I can gaze up and get lost in my thoughts and dreams. I have fond memories of going outside as my father tried to show me different constellations in the night sky. As I got older the stars started to hold even more meaning for me. They spoke to me of the Love of my Heavenly Father a constant reminder that no matter where I am, I am loved.
When I was in China there were so few days when any sky could be seen I began to have an even deeper appreciation of the night sky. When I saw even just one star I knew deep in me that I was loved and that would fill me with an overflowing amount of joy and peace.
So for the last 4 months on the World Race I have been mostly in cities. Now for those who know me well know, I’m not really a city kind of girl. I would much rather be in the outskirts of the city. But in each month and place I have felt God near to me and I have been able in some way, shape, or form find some kind of nature to let my Spirit breath and reach out to God in the way God made me to need Him.
I was and am excited for this month when I found out we were going to “rough it”. It meant me going out of the city where I can see God more in the things around me.
Well next week we start all of our ministry which means I will be teaching English for 5 hours every day, 5 days a week. I know, I know I have taught English before so this should be easy but in just thinking about it I was getting overwhelmed and I was letting my frustrations come out on the people around me. Not a good thing when this in not how I am to live and show God’s love through my actions. Getting good, loving “feedback” from my teammates helped me see this, and in so doing helped me turn to God seeking His peace to fill more of my life.
Last night I went outside and looked up. The sky was amazing, a most breathtaking display and it was just for me. In that moment I remembered that I’m not alone and I’m not supposed to do things in my own strength but to lean on God. I just stood there and breathed in and out, letting God’s love and peace fill me completely. I wanted to capture the moment, so I went inside and grabbed my camera, but all that showed up in the pictures was a black screen. Then it hit me, the wonder of the moment could never be put in picture form, that would just take away from what I had felt, the connection I had in that moment with the Lover of my Soul. I may not have a picture but I have the memory of the moment and that is even better for I can feel it deep inside me.
I have decided for this month I am trying to memorize James chapter 1. In verse 17 it says “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of Light, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (NKJV)
I love this name for God: Father of Light. I will hold on to this tightly and it is my hope to never forget that His love is even more constant than the stars He put in the sky. (Just for me)
