Last Sunday (March 23) I convinced myself to wake up and go to church for the first time in two and a half months. I was not stoked to get up, I was tired and really wanted to just lay in bed till noon. But I got up and I went…trying to remember how good it is once I’m there.
I didn’t feel a whole lot during worship, but I know my Papa is worthy regardless of what emotions I happen to feel on any given day. I soaked it in and just enjoyed His Presence and my allowed my hunger to be stirred again through seeing others worship their Daddy. The word was great…couldn’t tell you what it was about haha I just trust that the revelations will come to my mind as I need them. Every week they offer prayer, they have an entire team available so it isn’t like id have to wait in a long line …I’ve wanted to be poured into every other time I went but I never went up.
Ive had this thought since I was little that asking for prayer is saying that I’m weak and pathetic …that Im so down in the pit that I need to rely on someone else (human someone else). that people who went up for prayer were those that don’t really know the power their God has and that they could just as easily cry out to Papa themselves. Let me tell you that Im wrong, I know I’m wrong and I had to still fight through these thoughts as I contemplated asking someone to pray for me.
I finally stood there telling this girl I’ve never met why I wanted to be prayed for….oh gosh, how do I explain this?
“I want more! Im in a place where I haven’t connected with the Lord in what feels like forever …I just want Him, all of it and I want to be stopped in my tracks…I need breakthrough.”
I did realize how hungry I was until tears came to my eyes as I was telling her these things. The Lord in that moment spoke something to me “you’ve been standing on the bank of the river and wondering why you haven’t had increase…jump back in the river!”
What I didn’t know was just how much power there is in being open and going after more…how impactful it is to just ask someone else to pour into you when you are dry…the fact that Papa honors and loves hunger.
since then I’ve been walking in something more, took me till thursday to realize it! The Lord has kept me up for an extra hour some nights just chatting with me… He has given me paragraphs of words or prayers for people. Ive found myself telling people things and as I write them I’m thinking ‘what in the world am I saying?! this is crazy!’, finally went back out on outreach..its been a wild week!
I was wondering what changed and then I remembered asking for prayer …This stuff is good and powerful! sometimes we don’t realize we are just looking at the river instead of jumping in it! I just keep asking for more! I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier so I can listen and hear more and I’m just so excited because its glory to glory!
I also have an amazing squad and we have now started to pick one person a day in our squad to intercede for, along with a country on our route and whatever else Papa tells us! We have already seen some really awesome breakthrough from these prayers and there is only more- Love that I have these peeps to pray with and get to know and that soon we will all be meeting, traveling Asia, and releasing Kingdom alongside each other!!! ….amazing what jumping back in the river will do for ya!
Also! check out my fundraiser happening April 1st-11th 🙂 https://www.facebook.com/events/431994816937763/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming
