"After exploring the land for forty days, the men returned to Moses, Aaron, and the whole community of Israel at Kadesh in the wilderness of Paran. They reported to the whole community what they had seen…
…'We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country — a land flowing with milk and honey. But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak!'…
…But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. 'Let's go at once to take the land,' he said. 'We can certainly conquer it!'…
…But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. 'We can't go up against them! They are stronger than we are!' So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: 'The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. We even saw giants there.'
[Numbers 13:25-31]
Last week my squad leader Tiffany challenged us with this passage. We see the Israelites, after being straight up delivered from slavery in Egypt and then provided for and guided by the manifest presence of the Lord, FINALLY arrive at their promised land. Pretty much, God has completely taken care of them and provided for them to fulfill His promise, thus far.
So they arrive at their promised land flowing with milk and honey, they go scope it out, and they see giants there. Whatever, no biggie, my God just sent 7 plagues on Egypt and then parted the Red Sea to free us, let's go get those giants! Right? Wrong. They freak out! They spread the word and tell EVERYONE that there are huge men in their promised land that they couldn't POSSIBLY go up against… cue Israel wandering the desert for 40 years. Yeah, that seems like the better option.
The bottom line is they got scared. They saw something that to them looked insurmountable, and they let that fear overpower all that God had already done for them and all that He had promised. Instead of trusting Him to continue caring for and protecting them, they fled.
Little did I know I would have the chance to apply this passage to my life so very shortly afterward.
We have been in La Paz for only 4 days (although it feels like a lot longer), asking the Lord what He has for us here.
Two nights ago, my team took some time to pray over the city, to share what we have seen so far, and to ask God how He wants us to respond, to see what He is already doing here.
As we each talked about the things that we have seen and the places of brokenness we see in the city and the areas we see potential for loving people and what we were hearing from God, He began to weave together a simple vision: street ministry. The hostel we are staying at is located on a busy main street, Avenida Montes. There are homeless people, street vendors, a market, kids shining shoes, you name it. God put on my heart and my team's heart a very simple mission: buy some bread, take it to the streets, and talk to people. Feed them, see them, love them. Simple. We all felt excited. I felt God had given me an aerial view of the whole thing unfolding, us going out in groups of 2 or 3 and bringing the Kingdom on our own street. I dreamed of going every day, building relationships with the people, knowing their names, greeting them with smiles, hearing their stories, and telling them ours.
It is no coincidence that as my excitement grew as well as my confidence that this is what God wants me to be doing right now, I started experiencing some hostility on the very street I was hoping called to minister on.
They were small things, but they stuck with me…
- A young guy in a white coat walking by the group of us sitting on the steps eating burgers and yelling, "Why don't you go back to your own country? This is Bolivia."
- An elderly lady muttering an agitated comment about gringos as she pushed through us in the market
- A street vendor selling hats who became extremely angry when none of us bought any from her
- Multiple shop owners expressing irritation with us and rushing us out
- A drunk man following us on the street until some locals chased him away
- A huge political march completely shutting down the street we live on
By the time we convened as a team last night, a mere 24 hours after I had felt so confident and sure of the work I felt God had laid before me, I felt scared. Why would I want to take to these streets, when the people seem to harbor hostility and agitation towards me? These people probably don't want to talk to me at all. I started wondering if maybe God was telling us to move on from La Paz and take to another city that might want us there more…
But that wasn't God's voice. That was the voice of the enemy.
I told my team, I'm on edge. I feel discouraged. I know the truth, but I don't feel it.
And they told me, be encouraged. Opposition is almost always a clear sign that you are at the heart of God's will for your life. Satan does not want the Kingdom to come. Take courage, you are bold. We are going to pray for this.
So I choose to be like Caleb. I choose to say, "Let's take to this land! Surely we can conquer it!". I choose to say, if God is for me, who on this earth can be against me? I choose to say that I trust God and I walk in His promises, even if I don't always feel them.
Tomorrow we will take to the streets. We will approach the man who might be slightly drunk, the homeless old lady with the glassy eyes, the kid shining shoes wearing a mask covering his entire face.
Because I know my inheritance. I know what God has promised me. There my be giants in La Paz, but I am one of His chosen people. I am a royal priesthood, I am a daughter, I am light.
Who do you think you are La Paz? Come at me.
