When told to share about training camp I stared at my blank computer screen for about 30 minutes trying to wrap my mind around how in the world I was supposed to sum up all that happened in a short blog post. As you read this the thought of “I thought she said this was going to be short” might cross your mind and I’ll apologize now for that. Haha. Hopefully this can help explain a little more of what training camp was like for me.
As I sat in the Panera Bread in the middle of Gainesville waiting, my mind was racing with fears, doubts, uncertainties, excitement, anticipation, and so much more. Fears of how I would connect with the people I was about to meet. Doubts of whether or not this was the right thing for me and whether or not I would even be able to do it. Uncertainty of all the unknowns I was about to enter. And the excitement of starting this crazy, new adventure along with anticipation for what God was about to do in the upcoming 10 days. These things were all racing through my mind and the minute three of my squad members walked through the door calling my name, all of these thoughts vanished. It was like none of it even mattered and I was ready to conquer this unknown place called training camp.
Now that I have been home for almost a week I have had many people asking the big question of, “how was training camp?” I have to be totally honest, I haven’t found a good answer to that question yet. To just say that it was a lot harder than I ever expected but it was also good doesn’t do training camp justice. Don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly difficult in so many more ways than I ever expected and it was good, but it was so much more. From witnessing physical healing, experiencing the true meaning of freely worshipping, to a group of 40 strangers becoming family, tents and hammocks becoming homes, bucket showers becoming something you look forward to because it’s the only time you’re not sweaty, and soup becoming a breakfast food, training camp was physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenging.
Through the ten days two things that God really made clear to me was that I need to fully rely on Him and trust Him with everything in my life, during this trip as well as in everyday life at home. Trusting God with everything is something I struggle with. Don’t get me wrong, I trust Him with a whole lot, but I don’t trust Him with all things in my life. Along with that, I can say the same about relying on Him. When things are difficult I rely on Him for strength but when things are all butterflies and roses, not so much. These are two things that I really focused in on while at training because after the first night of hiding in my tent crying (no worries, we soon realized that a lot of us girls did that) I realized that there was no way I was going to make it through the next ten days if I didn’t trust God with all the unknowns and rely on Him to give me the strength I needed for each day. This led me to finding a training camp theme verse which quickly became Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This verse was a great reminder each day that I can’t do it with my own strength but I can do it with the strength that comes from Christ. As each day went on I had to constantly be reminding myself of these two words; trust and rely.
When we reached the middle of the week we split up and the guys went on a “man hike” while us girls stayed on site for our women’s retreat. Yes, it was nice to color and have our first chocolate in 5 days, but there was so much more that went on in the two day retreat. We were given a safe place to be raw, real, and vulnerable with our sisters in Christ who were also becoming a part of what we now call our new family. While it was difficult and scary at times to share some of the hardest times of my life with people I just met, it was one of the most freeing experiences I have ever been a part of. Through sharing with some of the girls I really began to realize that I can’t conquer what I don’t confront and that the best way to begin the journey into freedom is to bring any struggles into the light. Yes, it is incredibly hard but because I was with a group of girls and leaders that still love me despite of what I share about my past, I know that Jesus has started leading me on a journey to healing and freedom. Again, as this journey is just beginning I am taken back to my two words, trust and rely. Trust that Jesus will never leave me and rely on Him to carry me through the good times as well as the most difficult times.
One story I want to touch on was during one of our first nights of worship. I was overwhelmed by feeling like I wasn’t as qualified for this trip as the other people around me. I felt unworthy. I sat down and just really tried to get those thoughts out of my head because I knew they were not from God. Next thing I knew, Katie, one of my squad leaders, came over and placed her hands on my back. I knew she was praying over me but she was praying silently. Earlier in the day she told us that during worship settings like that she really just follows the promptings of the Holy Spirit and a lot of times when she’s praying, the Holy Spirit will take over and it will overwhelm whoever she is praying over. I didn’t think much of what she was saying until what do you know, she was praying and I couldn’t hold the tears back. I again didn’t think much of it because I’m an emotional person so tears are pretty normal but what happened next got me good. Katie leaned up and started pouring truth into my life. This wasn’t just any truth, it was truth against the lies I had been wrestling with not 5 minutes before she came over. I still remember the words she spoke; “You are so worthy in His eyes. He views you as His beautiful daughter. He is proud of you Julie. He has me right where I am for a reason.” It gives me chills even going back to that moment. That moment made me realize that the God of the universe sees little old me. He saw me and He felt the pain I was feeling and sent someone who was willing to follow His promptings to speak His truth into me. It is amazing what God can do when we surrender to Him and allow there to be room in our lives for Him to fill.
So there is just a very small snapshot of what training camp looked like. There are so many more stories I would love to share so if you are interested and have time, please don’t hesitate to ask! Thank you so much for the prayer and encouragement through my time at training camp. Prayer that I would cherish my time home this next month is greatly appreciated! It is challenging to focus on being present here when the to-do list of things that need done for my trip seems endless. Also prayer that I would manage my time well between spending time with people and getting my to-do list finished would be great. Thank you in advanced for your prayers and continued support.
Fundraising update: I have met my August 21 deadline of $10,500!! I have until October 31 to be fully funded at $12,491 but, I have a personal goal to have all my money by the time I leave in the beginning of September so I won’t have to worry about it while I’m on the field. So, I am working at finishing my bracelet/keychain fundraiser so if anyone is still interested in those contact me ASAP! I also have an R&K sub sale going until August 12 with pick up on the 19th. If anyone is interested in subs, pretzel sandwiches, or frozen items feel free to contact me via Facebook, email, or phone. Thank you so much for all your support; I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without each of you! I have been so blessed by the amazing support system I have cheering me on along this journey. And better yet, I am being led and watched over by our God and He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. We serve a good good Father.
Again, if you have any questions or just want to chat about my time at training camp, please don’t hesitate to ask! **Also, if you have a free minute, check out the song No Longer Slaves. I fell in love with that song while at training and the words are so powerful.**
