If I had to sum up Month 5 in a few words, they would be: “emotional roller coaster, impatience, struggle, frustration, difficult, and dissatisfaction.” Beginning the first day of being in Ukraine, I was irritable, frustrated, impatient, moody, joyless, and to be honest, pissy. At the time, I knew what part of my problem was, but I couldn’t figure out the other root issues. I was thoroughly disappointed when my irritability continued on into week two of being in Ukraine because Month 4 (Romania) was overall a very good month of ministry, community, and spiritual growth for me. I thought that joyful spirit would easily continue on in Ukraine; however, that was not the case, and Ukraine was my most emotionally challenging month thus far.
Taking a walk in the pine forest next to Pine Branch Camp, Kolentsi
Time to revisit one of my weaknesses: impatience. In Month 1 (Guatemala), I wrote a blog titled, “Patience is a Virtue … No Joke.” I learned very quickly that The Race was going to be a huge test of my patience for multiple reasons (community, ministry, heart issues, spiritual growth, etc.), and I could either take each test in patience and learn from it, or allow the frustrations to pile up and become a huge heart issue. There were times when I went to God and prayed about these struggles and times when I allowed offenses to build up.
Since the design of the World Race never relents in testing our patience, I realized at the beginning of Month 3 (Honduras) that I needed to begin praying diligently for growth in patience or else my Race was going to be way more challenging than necessary. Of course when you ask for growth in patience, God doesn’t just all of a sudden make you a patient person, He allows you to go through numerous tests in patience. Well, God definitely didn’t let his side of bargain down and has given me extensive opportunities to exercise patience. It has been an incredibly humbling season of my life thus far on The Race.
The laborious process of removing a ton of screws from a plywood stage
God has put me on two teams for the first five months of my Race (Team Cherished and Team Majestic Summit). Both were all-female teams, and the ladies on those teams were high-feelers and had very different personalities and communication styles than mine. Because we were so different, it was very easy to disagree with their viewpoints and not give grace when it was due. Off and on throughout The Race, I was very impatient with team dynamics, nightly team feedback sessions, and everyone’s personal growth. Numerous heart issues began to come up over the course of those five months, and I oftentimes struggled to love the people on those teams.
Majestic Summit: Misty (taking the photo), Amanda, Emily, me, Kate,
Katie W., Hannah Bashor (former World Racer), and Rose
Now back to Ukraine. Apparently, I had buried five months of select offenses against my teams and teammates deep into my heart. In Month 5, I cared less about addressing issues that would arise amongst myself and other teammates. I didn’t do a very good job in expressing my feelings, seeking God, and choosing joy during hardship. Well, as always, God knew I was struggling, and my outlook on my Race was changed the last week of being in Ukraine.
Spending some time thinking
Read Part 3 for God’s answer to my struggles.
