I finally have Part 2 ready! I was anticipating writing this blog sooner, but I’ve had writer’s block until now. I think it is because I have still been processing how my fourth month in Romania panned out.
Schimba. Romanian for change, transform, improve.
My first three months of the Race in Central America were by no means fantastic. I struggled with giving and receiving love, trusting my squad, living in community, being judgmental and short-tempered, speaking truth to my squadmates in love, externalizing my feelings to my team, choosing joy, being committed to my team, freely giving grace, having peace about an unorganized ministry schedule, giving up control, ‘fear of man’ heart issues, and being free in who I am as a daughter of God. As some of you read this, you may be thinking, “Man, she is really messed up.” Well, the truth is, I was.
Month 1: Guatemala … oh, so much growth since then
I struggled so much in the first two months of my Race, but in the third month, I began to feel and see glimpses of what true freedom in Christ is like. Being free is beautiful and contagious. A World Race mentor told us in Month 4 Debrief that, “free people are attractive.” The internal attractiveness occurs as the Lord works on your heart, and the external attractiveness emerges secondarily.
Priscilla Gray, Kelly King, and I having fun in Roatan, Honduras.
A part of our squad took Tony and 5 of the street kids to the beautiful island of Roatan.
In month 3, I was told by a couple of my teammates that Romania was going to be a huge test in patience for me. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to receive that word from them. For those who know me, they are well aware that patience is not innate for me. And, as it turned out, I was constantly challenged to exercise patience while in Romania. I learned the hard way many times throughout the Race to have patience for the recovery and healing processes that we are all going through in order to obtain freedom from the “junk” in our lives. Each day I have the choice to love, be joyful, and speak life.
Chase Glantz and I teaching English to Romanian children
I have always been able to clearly see truth in a situation or person. I can identify problems and/or see someone’s weaknesses. It is also easy for me to see where someone is along their journey through life and personal growth and where they could be. (As World Racers would say, being able to call someone up into greatness). However, before month 4, I wasn’t always speaking into someone with the right motive. Oftentimes my motive was in trying to “fix” my teammates because I could easily see their struggles and how slowing they were moving through recovering from their heart issues. But, my timing is not their timing, and unfortunately, I was a bit too persistent at times in pushing some of my teammates through their recovery process before they were ready. It also didn’t help that I myself was spiritually and emotionally depleted – that tends to not be a good combination when trying to pour into others.
So, what was the huge change (i.e., schimba) that was in store for me in Romania? Well, it was knowing and feeling my heart fill up with love and joy. The love and joy is visible on my face and in my persona. My nightly feedback for my team took a radical change. I have been able to pour so much more life onto my team because now there is love at the foundation of my words. God revealed to me that one of my spiritual gifts is prophesy. Numerous times while in Romania, God clearly gave me powerful constructive feedback and life-giving prophesy for my squadmates. I have been able to listen better to the Holy Spirit and speak when He tells me to speak as well. I can tell there is a change in the way I speak words to squadmates during group prayers and the manner in which I pray over people.
Jill Schulenberg and I at Month 4 Debrief, Bucharest, Romania
I am not okay with my former broken self. I desire more than just small character changes. I desire transformation into an amazing, godly woman. After finishing up month 4, I know I am in the process, and so many changes have already occurred and are yet to occur. What do you know … I actually enjoy community now.
Team Majestic Summit at Month 4 Debrief, Bucharest, Romania
me, Kate, Katie, Amanda, Rose, Emily, and Misty
