“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
It’s time to get vulnerable.
As Jen Langes and I were taking one of our pre-dinner strolls around the Casa Verde neighborhood, I told her that if I had to sum up our World Race journey in one word, it would be love. When I look back at my life, I never fully understood unconditional love nor was I able to give unconditional love. I have been wounded by people in my life for many years, and I allowed myself to avoid community and relationship-building. I cared about myself and not others.
Over the years, I have allowed my heart to become cold and hard. At the beginning of 2011, I was still ignoring my heart issues, so God decided to threaten my worldly identity (i.e., my occupation as a nurse). The Lord used difficult challenges to reveal the walls I have around my heart. He convicted me of the judgment, cynicism, superiority, and bitterness that encompassed my life.
I constantly pray for God to break my heart and tear down the walls around it. I yearn to fully reap and sow unconditional love and allow it to pour out of me.
Dancin' with kiddos at the city dump (photo by Robin Brooks)
Questions I have had to ask myself while on The Race:
If I can love on an orphan child but not on my own teammates, is that love? If I get frustrated with my teammates over differing perspectives, is that love? If I have a bad attitude about unorganized ministry, is that love?
If I can look at someone’s weaknesses, but love him/her even more, do I have love? If I find joy in hearing someone else’s opinion, do I have love? If I improvise and go with the flow when a schedule goes awry, do I have love?
This journey will not be easy, but it will be fruitful. I know it.
One of my super, awesome squadmates, Hayden Furlow
My fellow teammate, Jen Langes
