Written 8-20-11
Yep, you read the title right. I felt God today. Like physically felt him. This sounds so crazy and I still don't even know for sure what to think about it. My whole life I've had God in this box. My life has been in a box. New things and change scare me and I love staying in my comfort zone. I like routine. I'm working on it. This morning we were having team time and my leader wanted us to take the day and just sit with God and see what he would reveal to us and what he would teach us. Then we would meet back at the end of the day and share our thoughts. I thought to myself oh no. I don't want to do this. I would do anything to get out of it. I was not a happy camper because yet again I was being pushed out of my comfort zone. I know that is what I signed up for but I was not feeling it. I felt a lot of pressure to have something good to share. So I go outside and lean up against a tree, which has become one of my favorite spots to sit and spend time with God this month. This sounds a little silly but sometimes I really think God speaks to me through putting my worship songs on shuffle on my ipod. So I pray for a little bit, pray that God would reveal himself to me and that I would see him in a new way. And then hit shuffle. Song 1 comes on. I have a song on my ipod called Sweep Me Away which I normally dont even like but I went with it. There is a line that says "suddenly I feel your hand in mine" and it repeats over and over. I'm not kidding when I say my hand started to tingle and it felt like someone was holding it. I held hands with God today. HOW CRAZY DO I SOUND RIGHT NOW?!? I have always had a problem with comparing myself to others- especially spiritually. Even more so here on the race. At first I was really freaked out, but I know without a doubt the tingling came from God because he totally just spoke into my life and into my heart and said here I am. I'm right here. Right next to you. I'm sitting right next to you holding your hand. You can keep comparing yourself to others or you can seek me for yourself and have your own experiences. I work through people in different ways so please just stop comparing. Just stop. I'm going to do a work in and through you that you cant even understand right now. Stop wanting others experiences and embrace your own. It was INSANE I'm telling you. I have never experienced God like this before. It was crazy, wonderful, and a little weird. My life is out of control and I love it.
