My heart pitters when a cute guy (who meets my height requirement, of course) walks by or sits next to me. I look down to see what I’m wearing and if I’m looking cute today. I’ve been conditioned from a young age that my goal in life is to attract a man. I need to be thin, but not too thin. I need to wear makeup, but not too much makeup. And if I play my cards right, I just might end up with the ultimate prize: a husband and adorable children.
Singleness is a disease. That’s what I’ve been taught, both directly and indirectly, my entire life. I’m expected to be my father’s daughter, my husband’s wife, and my children’s mother. In that order and without delay. That’s how I cure my disease, otherwise people might look at me sideways.
The world tells us singleness is a disease to be cured, not a gift to be cherished. Hollywood promotes it, Taylor Swift sings it, our family’s well-intended questions push it and the church unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) tells us it’s the only way (or at least the “right” way). There is shame pressed on me for being twenty-five and single, twenty-five and not concerned about when or IF I’ll get married.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be married and that’s not a dis-heartening statement in the least to me. Paul actually writes the church of Corinth saying it is better to be single, as he was, because your interests are not divided and it is easier to be wholly devoted to the Lord. I am by no means bashing marriage. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. It is designed to mirror His love and sacrifice for us. However, I am saying that singleness is an equally beautiful gift from God and I wish that was taught.
Singleness is a gift to be cherished, not a disease to be cured, not a curse to be lifted by prince charming.
We are taught that our mission in life is to find love and put a ring on it. But, what if I told you I’ve already found that? His name is Jesus. In Him, I’ve found all I need and I’m committed. That may sound cliché, but sometimes clichés exist for a reason: often times they are truth. Truth that either we believe or at least we want to believe. Do you truly believe Christ is enough or is it just a song you sing on Sunday morning?
As a single woman, I stand and say Christ IS enough. He is the love story I’ve dreamed of. He comforts me when I hurt, strengthens me when I am weak, I am His bride and He has waited a thousand years for me to be His. Through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, better or worse, He is mine and I am His. He is all I need.
So, whether or not I marry a man on this earth, isn’t the point to my life. If I get married, praise the Lord and if I don’t get married, praise the Lord! David writes in the Psalms saying that God withholds no good thing from those who walk in His ways. In my singleness, I am not “missing out.” I’ve found the One who completes me, who is everything I need, who loves me perfectly. If I end up marrying a man, it won’t be because he completes me, or is everything I need, or because he loves me perfectly. It’ll be because he makes life a little sweeter and I want him by my side. If and until that day comes, I will cherish the beautiful gift of singleness. I am loved, I am seen and known, I am cherished, I am spoken for, I am fulfilled, I am desired, I am pursued. I am His.
