When I pulled up to the Adventures in Missions campus in Gainesville, GA a surreal feeling over took me. I felt stunned that after 11 months and a 90 minute car ride, I was face-to-face with a sea of green that was my squad.
I sheepishly grabbed my pack and began walking in the herd of excitement toward registration. After five minutes I finally managed to say a sentence, it sounded something like, “This is so strange and exciting, I can’t make words come out of my mouth!” That was met with a laugh and tensions slowly eased.
Photo credit: Kirbie Head
We began the 10 day, life-altering experience with corporate worship. The moment the music began, the room swelled with energy alongside my heart-rate. I immediately became overwhelmed with a feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I felt God giving me the word, FAMILY and saying that these people would change my life.
Photo credit Brooke Leffelman
I saw in them immediately so many characteristics and gifts that I wanted for my own life, and was overjoyed at the opportunity to spend a year growing and walking alongside them. I have always been peculiarly shy in the beginning and slow to start, I’m never the loudest in the room and often have to have my opinion coerced out of me. My start to training camp was no different, but the events following were unprecedented.
Though a large part of training was spent troubleshooting through possible field scenarios and bonding as a squad, the real meat came from intentionally allowing God to work through the scars and junk in our hearts.
We talked about forgiveness, healing, grieving and how God isn’t afraid of our mess. We talked about what it means to be women and men of God and how each bare a unique image of Christ. We confronted our fears, relinquished our death grips on our lives and sad good bye to the lies spoken over us for so many years.
We cried with each other over our losses and we celebrated with each other in Christ’s redemption. We admitted our shortcoming and we spoke bold, Cross-reflecting truths over one another in retaliation.
I began to realize my insecurities had long over stayed their welcome in my heart and I simply didn’t have space for them anymore. I could feel them making a slow exit and then one night I experienced a genuine turning point.
A woman on staff was speaking to the women about letting go of your baggage and simply being the woman God made you to be. She ended her talk with the words, “Get over yourself and start getting things done for the Kingdom.”
Her words cut like scissors releasing me from the final strings tying me down in shame.
I AM DONE.
I am done tiptoeing around and hoping no one realizes I am unworthy of the Kingdom! I am done allowing fear to stop me from obeying the calling put on my life and I am done allowing my past to control how God uses my future!
Training camp as a whole was a reflection of how life with Christ should be – it was stretching, uncomfortable, unbelievably joy-filled, raw, community focused and Kingdom driven.
Screen grab from a video by Josh Stoneman, watch it here.
I didn’t leave camp with a retreat-high – actually I left exhausted, sunburnt and covered in dirt. But when rest came, so did the unshakeable feeling of peace that has now occupied the newly cleared out places in my heart. I have an overwhelming feeling of calm and clarity that this journey is His plan for me.
My God is bigger than all fears and sin and that’s where and how I choose to live. I’m done settling for anything less!
Photo credit: Kirbie Head
Additionally, while at training, I was asked to take up the role of squad story teller. Over the next year, Adventures in Missions marketing staff will mentor and develop me as a story teller – helping me improve my content and empowering me to tell greater stories for the Kingdom. Because of this, I launch a day early on June 27 in Atlanta. We then leave for India around July 1st.
Thank you or your prayers and support on what has already been a long and incredible journey with the Lord. I hope to take you all with me as we take this thing international! Be sure to subscribe to this blog for updates as well as my YouTube channel for a raw look into life on the World Race. 25 more days until launch – let’s do this!
