Got sidetracked somewhere, but this was the journal entry from Ethiopia after visiting a home that will forever leave an impression on heart and mind…scroll down…
Home for the first day since June 7! Unreal journey and it’s only the beginning! God has already answered so many prayers, taught me so much, blessed me beyond what I deserve.
Ethiopia…it’s in my heart. The people, the culture, the people. God is at work and it was a unreal to simply have fun with Him, cry with Him amidst the pain, and run and play with Him as we spent time with hundreds of beautiful children, incredible leaders, our specific sponsored children, and our God constructed team.
Italy…amazing time with friends…visiting ancient ruins…experiencing the beauty, and seeing the rougher sides as well…The ruins, especially the Colosseum, were fascinating. These people lived, really were alive. Time goes so fast. Life is so short.
It’s amazing how God does love the use of “instead”. We learned that from Graham Cooke at the Ignite conference this week and it’s so true. Joy instead of fear. Eternal perspective instead of temporary. That’s the biggest instead I think I’ve seen. It seemed this whole 3 weeks God was just constantly expressing, “Julia, don’t worry, I got this,”…of course, with a tender, humble smile.
So many stories, so little time…Here’s a journal from Ethiopia that might help make sense of what I mean. It was in the midst of God returning something to me that I thought I’d lost and experiencing such joy with the kids and our team that day. It struck me immediately to the core in a mixed way…of His faithfulness and care while also working through this in the midst of one of our experiences that day.
This was after visiting a lady who was maybe 30 max with a little 3 year old girl named Bethlehem, who is in the Compassion program. They lived, both of them, in approximately a 6 foot by 3 foot square. Dirt floor. No running water. No electricity. A sheet for a door. The woman had been raped 3 years ago, giving her little Bethlehem. She suffers with epilepsy which makes a job pretty much impossible, although she tries. Her family is not close by. So much hurt, so much pain and still the love and closeness between mother and daughter was palpable, tangible, beautiful. So much respect for this woman whose eyes stayed down almost the entire time, not lifting her head. I am struggling to describe what I see in my mind’s eye and my heart right now. God really helped me through this one more than I bargained for…
What is God saying to me today?
June 8, 2014
That He is good. SO good. So beyond what I deserve. Father, how? Why? I don’t understand. Thank you for also providing this spot. I sit here shaking my head. From feeling uncertain to seeing You work. How? Why? You are beautiful. You are beyond what I could ask or imagine. You are beautiful. You are more than words. I don’t have them. How do you do it? Everything. The team. The kids. The leaders. The experience. Father you are in control. Help us to be obedient. So much beauty. So much pain. That woman, Lord. That woman. Her face. Will I someday forget it? I see your princess. Sorrow lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning. She, she is beautiful. Pristine. Yes, Father, yes. She is, she is…so much. Hurt. Shamed, not shame. She has been shamed. In the eyes of herself and the world. Oh, she is glorious. Beautiful. Pure. Magnificent. Meek, yes, she is strength under control. This world has humbled her, but You do not forget. You see each tear that falls. On her cheeks. Onto her little Bethlehem as she sleeps at night. Onto her little dirt floor. Each tear, a jewel in her eternal crown. For she knows You. Each tear caught by Your hand, for she encases You. Heal Lord, from the inside out. Bring her healing. Bring her work. Bring her encounters with You. Bring her blessing. Lord, you have blessed us so much. Why? Father what am I distracted by in Your blessing? I am grateful, thank You, I just wonder. Why? May she find a sweetness in her dependence. You do that. In different ways, hers most extreme, You do this, you bring beauty from ashes. What is extreme for You? You see the desire of your heart. You see life with no fears. You see us. Bring these together. Feed her, clothe her, physically, spiritually. I am grateful, so grateful for Your hand of blessing. What is blessing to You? It looks different at times, doesn’t it? The opposite of our expectation. Love..without exception. Without expectation. We are Yours, all of us. You are the Creator first, we only need ask for You to come into our hearts and create us for a second time. And it’s worth it. Always. Pleasant always? No. Worth it always? Yes. Thank you. You are good and Your love endures forever. Send hugs to these people with the food. Tearing up–“I sent you.” Why has this not totally hit? Why is it hitting now? We are His hugs. We are bringing His food. We are His love. I mean, you know you’ll be able to help. You know you’re supposed to go. You know you are bursting to give, but you meet these precious ones in person and you pray for them specifically, for someone to help, for someone to bring, for someone to hug. And then it dawns that He is. He did. And He has a humble, knowing, yet mischievous look in His eye. To the least of these. This is where I call you. To the least of these. You are an answered prayer. You ARE my hands. You are my feet. I am your Father. I am their Father. You are brothers. You are sisters. No different. No different.
Who are the least of these? Who does not know Him? Same question. Who are the least? Who needs Truth? Same question. Who is the least? Who has no way of getting something themselves? Same question. Same need for everyone? No. Same appearance? No. Same question? Yes.
Please shine through. Thank You that You can do this. I need You. Please continue. I cannot do it. Please use all for good. “Be anxious about nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Lord, You are good and Your mercy endureth forever.
