Walking a mile in someone’s shoes is a difficult thing to do at times, now imagine if you could not walk a mile or even put on your shoes. Imagine ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches that may seem normal are actually painful and uncomfortable. Imagine a simple trip to the market may be almost impossible due to overstimulation in every way, shape, and form. Imagine hearing everyone speak to you but being unable to communicate back; unable to explain your feelings, express when you are hungry, hurting, or confused. Imagine being trapped inside of a faulty remote controlled robot unable to take control over your own physical body. Imagine what it is like to have your brain processing and operating non-stop without having the ability to press pause and have a moment of mental silence.
After hearing I graduated with a special education degree, a woman from the church invited me to her work, a daycare for children with special needs. I happily agreed and was very excited. I was unsure of what to expect but like many experiences already this month- I learned it is better to not have expectations, yet enjoy whatever you are met with.
This morning I walked to the daycare, and was met at the doorstep with open arms by the woman who had invited me at church. She was so happy I was there and she quickly introduced me to the other Serbian women. After sitting down, there was a knock at the door, and in came Herlmo* (name changed). A 17 year old boy that had autism. A boy who had bright eyes and blonde hair. A boy that was bursting with energy and excitement. A boy whose daily life experiences and struggles look very different than yours or mine. He clumsily entered the room and immediately began to yell, lost his balance, and was quickly caught before he met the ground. Over and over, this happened for 20 minutes, and after watching him land on the ground one last time- I joined him.
As I sat next to him he rolled around, and then I positioned his body in a way so he was laying on his back with his arms above his head. I sat above his head holding his hands in the air. I began to manipulate his arms and hands into various stretches while making different silly noises. He immediately became mesmerized by my physical touch, my voice, and the way his arms were being stretched, and because of this a peaceful silence fell over him. It was as if he was trying hard to listen and understand me as I was trying to do the same for him.
His head laid on my lap until I felt his muscles relax and then I laid the rest of his body down on the floor and slid a pillow under his head. All the women looked at me in amazement when they saw Herlmo. I had been warned he likes to bite and hit, but he was now calmly drifting to sleep. I then began to use my hands to push different release and relaxation points on his back, neck, and head and he almost immediately fell asleep.
The women could not believe it- they said he has never fallen asleep before at the daycare much less been so at peace and relaxed while he was there. He continued to sleep peacefully the rest of my time I was there.
In a lot of ways, I am like Herlmo, I cannot stand alone by myself and often may trip and stumble but God is always there to catch me and put me back on my feet. I often have to make a conscious decision to quiet myself to hear him and hear the things he is trying to tell me. Often, God also may stretch me in ways i have never felt or experienced before and it often feels seem strange or foreign. Then, all at once, God brings an overwhelming sense of peace to me and i am able to rest in his care and comfort.
