Every day God performs a miracle in our lives, but we don’t take notice. The breath I’m taking right now is a miracle. I can only take it because God gives it to me. But how many breaths do we take in a lifetime? Billions? Trillions? That miracle becomes mundane and we hardly notice it, let alone think about it. Sadly, so do all other miracles.
The truth is…. the main reason I came on the race was to have a more intimate relationship with Christ. To get out of my comfort zone, and see what it really means to walk with God.
I ‘m in a slum community in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Yes, there is the smell of sewer in the streets, and the roads lack any traffic law that I can see. The markets sport “exotic goods” live fish, crab, fertilized duck egg, snail etc…fake watches, and fake designer clothes.
But… life is normal. I knew that at some point on this race, the world would become normal. But day 1? You see, life is normal no matter where you are in the world. If you go to far flung places to find God, or expect Him to move in big ways just because you changed scenery… well you’re expectations may be wrong. Mine were.
Yes the scenery is different; the food, and the smells. But people are the same, the good and the bad. We all have struggles, we all have stories and we ALL have something to be thankful for.
I’ve only been in Cambodia a few short weeks, and it was clear to me I was lacking something. I wasn’t truly thankful for the day, nor did I see the miracle in each day. God performs small miracles every single day, but they become mundane and we lose our awe of them over time.
My teammate Joshua Garcia called me over the other night to listen to a podcast about the Israelites in the wilderness. God gave them manna every day. They literally woke up each morning with a miracle from God outside waiting for them. Instead of jumping for joy every morning and saying “Wow God did it again!”. They complained, and so did I.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
The beginning of week one was rough, we kind of bombed our first Sunday. Our ministry host has a Sunday school type lesson each Sunday afternoon for the young kids in the community, and teaches guitar afterwards. We were embarrassingly unprepared for the task. Our first time teaching English? FAIL. The lessons were either too hard or way too easy. Yet the team rallied, got organized and started making lesson plans and testing their effectiveness with daily reviews.
The first 3 days or so sucked “performance” wise, but we got through it and it’s been smooth sailing since. Teaching has been great, and the Lord has been working in my teammates hearts. Revealing and healing brokenness, revealing identity in Christ and what it truly means to be a child of God. The team has been advocating leadership roles in one another and encouraging each other to step out in confidence. Reinforcing that it’s truly okay to fail, and that we will still be their to support them when they do.
The team is killing it, and yet for me it seemed to be going TOO well. I didn’t come on the trip to be comfortable. I came to leave my comfort zone, and yet I find myself in an environment I’m absolutely comfortable in. It felt like I was in a desert spiritually. I felt that no growth was happening for me spiritually, because everything was going too well. The Lord’s working in my teammates, and He’s allowing me to be a part of it, but is He not working in me? Did I not hear correctly when He told me to follow Him here?
It felt like my water well was running dry, like my relationship with the Holy Spirit had back tracked since I had left. Honestly it was driving me nuts, I had absolutely no reason to feel the way I was feeling. Everything is going perfectly, so why do I feel like I’m in a desert?
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————
3 days ago, in my quiet time with the Lord, He brought me to Psalms 63.
“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. But those who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth; they shall be given over to the power of the sword; they shall be a portion for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped.”
It’s such a small and unassuming chapter, but I can’t explain how much it effects me. God’s hand is EVERYWHERE. In conversation, in smiles, in the laughter of kids on street corners, in the very breath I breathe. I have so much to be thankful for. The little things bring me such joy. I think for the first time in my life, I actually understand thankfulness. for the first time in my life, I’m actually living in the present and not stressing about tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I’m truly joyful.
If anyone is in a desert, just follow the Psalmists example. Look upon the Lord in His sanctuary, behold His power and glory. His steadfast love is better than life, and praise Him with your lips. Meditate on Him in the watches of the night, for He is your help. Cling to Him, and He will uphold you, you will be satisfied as with fat and rich food.
Love you all.
