I went out to the balcony outside of my room to pray because I was feeling defeated, but I came out feeling alive! Here’s what went down: I threw on some Giants to clear my head and surrendered my mind to God. I asked him to speak to me because I was desperate and needed to hear His voice. I closed my eyes and started talking to Him,
“…but I didn’t come out here to talk. I came to listen, so I’ll shut up now.”
“I want to hear you talk.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you.” He said it teasingly like I should have known.
For some strange reason I asked Him, “How much do You love me?”
There was a pause. I started seeing this glowing sphere much like the sun. I could feel the pure energy radiating from it- the Spirit of God.
Then it got crazy.
I could see part of a child’s face like they were peeking around a corner. The child wore a beautiful, beaming smile- delightfully innocent, unabashed, and free of any care in the world. We just smiled at one another, thrilled to be together, suspended there in time. It was all that mattered. There had been a surging joy that suddenly came out in that moment, and we both exploded with laughter. At that same instant the song hit it’s high point and I found myself swept up in a sea of brilliant wonder, as I was willfully tossed around in the waves of my Savior’s affection. I drowned in the overwhelming Life that now coursed through my veins like a blast of adrenaline. I cried and laughed as the Spirit surrounded me. I was home. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to stay in this place forever. Completely consumed.
This is His undeniable love and it’s more powerful than any drug or emotion in existence. If He had shown me any more, I would not have been able to take it. I would have soared off out of this realm and into the next. I wish I knew better words to explain it, but there aren’t any in this reality. God’s love can’t be explained, it can only be experienced and He’s the only one who can show you. The only way to grasp it is to let go of everything else. But if you choose this path, there’s no going back. Nothing will ever be the same.
God revealed His glorious presence to me in one of the most spiritually dark places in the world. He can show it to you no matter what state you think your life is in, whether you are saved or not. He wants you close. Whatever you’re going through, He is immensely bigger and He adores you. His love for you runs deep. He’s eagerly waiting to show you aspects of His character you’ve never seen before. You just have to ask.
