My teammates and I have been staying in a small town called Trinidad. It is located in the southern part of Mexico in the state of Chiapas. During our time here we have been instructed to put together church services every night for the local church. Problem number one is that most of the team does not speak Spanish at all except for Johnny who has been getting us through. Problem number two is the congregation gives zero response to head pastor so imagine the response we are getting. Lets just say it is very awkward to finish speaking or doing a drama and get crickets and the gas face from the crowd. It was in one of these awkward moments that God really taught me something.
The plan for the evening was to sing a few songs in Spanish led by Stacey and Tara. Then I would read the story of Moses translated into Spanish followed by a drama. After the drama Marissa would share her testimony translated by Johnny. The songs are sung with no response. I struggle through about 10 minutes worth of Spanish reading followed by the drama and the testimony and nothing. I know they saw the strain on my face as I fought through my mispronunciation. I did the best that I could and yet their faces were saying you should have done better. In that moment I realized that I was looking for some type of response or accolade for the work that we just put in. It was a very humbling experience. God reminded me that these things we were saying were not for the people but were sweet offering to him. God was using us to scatter His Word and he would come in sew those words into the heart of the people.
This thought at first seemed so counterintuitive to way that we do things in America or at least the way I did things. Here I am putting myself out there expecting some type of response or accolade to build myself up. All this time and I had no idea I was even seeking those things. It felt good to discover that about myself because now there are fewer insecurities to get in the way of finding my true identity in Christ. My prayer is that all these little pieces of myself that I hold on to and try find significance in are brought to the surface. I want to be able to get to the end of service, a time of ministry, and even the world race and know that everything is poured out for the sake of Christ and not just a pat on the back.
Leave any agenda you might carry in the river. You don’t have room for it. Let this time expose who you truly are and let the God of the world mold and shape and carve you until there isn’t a doubt exactly what your role is in this epic story.(A little wisdom from someone with whom I trust my life)
