I think I've said this before, but I love the Olympics. Like, really love them.
Last night, we were watching some of the track event finals. It was exciting because Josh's brother Zach does hurdles in track, so it was fun to watch it at the Olympic level.
One of the runners, Lolo Jones, was highlighted as one of the athletes to watch. She was favorited to win the 100 meter hurdles in the Beijing Olympics, but at the 9th hurdle, she clipped it and lost her lead, finishing 7th.
She seemed to approach these Olympic games with a resolve for redemption. Unfortunately, a few days before her race, the New York Times published an article (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/sports/olympics/olympian-lolo-jones-draws-attention-to-beauty-not-achievement.html) that really shook her up. In her words, they "ripped me apart".
A few years ago, in an interview with Mary Carillo, Lolo revealed that she had made a commitment to remain a virgin until she was married. They were talking about it in a joking manner, but Lolo was obviously serious about her commitment. She said that she made this commitment as a gift to her future husband.
In a later interview with the Today show, Mary Carillo discussed her earlier interview with Lolo with one of the hosts. They discussed it in a respectful manner for the most part, but towards the end, they made some harsh comments. They basically said that while they respect her decision, it was surprising because of her exotic good looks, and because she was almost 30.
Which, to me, implies that they were saying that either if you are attractive, you should not/cannot wait to have sex before you are married because it would be a waste, or, if you do wait, you must not be attractive, or you must have some unattractive personality traits.
This idea is a big problem for me.
I waited until I was married, and so did Josh. It was hard in high school to feel judged for it, or to feel like I was passed up or looked over because people knew. I had so many insecurities about myself because of this. I knew that I wanted to stick to my convictions, but I was tired of being judged. It was hard in college, too, and especially when Josh and I were dating and we knew we wanted to get married.
It's hard. But it is SO WORTH IT. Because Josh and I were able to give each other gifts that not everyone gets to give or receive. The gift of no baggage in that area.
Virginity is not something to be looked down upon. I think that so often, it has a negative connotation, and we immediately think, "Oh, that poor girl." Or, "Oh, what an awkward guy. Hopefully he can find a girlfriend soon." We assume that there must be something wrong with them.
Why can't virginity be seen in a positive light? In many cases, it is a conscious decision to make a commitment to honor a person that they may not even know at that point. It is sometimes a daily battle, whether it is external, with feeling judged for it by others, or internal, with battling insecurities. What can be more honorable than making a choice, often on a daily basis, to forgo your own desires to honor someone you may not even know?
Unfortunately Lolo finished 4th in her race at the London Olympics, just out of reach of a medal. Just as in the New York Times article, instead of focusing on her athletic performance, many people have responded with harsh criticism of her, blaming her loss on how she plays up her good looks and focuses too much on her image, and some Twitter users have even blamed it on her virginity. Which is, of course, totally ridiculous.
First of all, I commend Lolo Jones for not only making the commitment to wait until marriage, for having the courage to make it public, and for taking the ridicule with as much grace as she can (even though she was reduced to tears in one interview after her race yesterday). But, I also commend her for her dedication to her sport. She came back from a heartbreaking mistake in the Beijing Olympics, and was determined to try again. Dedication, no matter what the situation, is always something I admire.
And I also commend those of you that have made a commitment to wait. It is not some hokey thing to be ashamed of, but something that is honorable and is worth being proud of. If you made the commitment, and did not keep it, you are still worth it.
So, even if you feel like you are absolutely the last person on Earth who is waiting, don't give up. Be preparing your heart for the future while still enjoying these days. It can be tempting to look forward to having a spouse and not having to worry about it anymore, but after all, it is always today, and tomorrow is always tomorrow.
