It was the summer of 2010. I was in Kansas City, waiting at my sister and brother-in-law's house for my sister to get off work, and for our Mom to get into town so we could go see the Kansas, Styx, and Foreigner concert later that night. I found myself alone all day, without much to do.
I decided to watch a movie, and as I perused the shelf of DVDs, something caught my eye. Season 1 of LOST. I had heard my family and friends raving about the show, but I never really had much interest in it. The show was already over, and I had never really seen any episodes.
I decided it was worth a shot, so I put in the first disc. I remember sitting on the couch, covered up in a blanket, and meeting Jack, Kate, John, Sawyer, Hurley, Claire, and Charlie for the first time.
If you have never watched the show, the basic idea is that a plane, traveling from Sydney, Australia, to LA crashes on an unknown island, stranding the passengers. They must figure out how to survive not only living on the island, but living with each other as well. The show is woven with mythology, science fiction, and tons of unanswered questions. It is also extremely character driven, and you find yourself feeling like you are right there with them, and are deeply invested in their emotional journeys.
I was hooked.
I think I watched almost the entire season that day. I couldn't wait to get home and catch Josh up on the episodes so we could watch the series together.
In one famous clip from the show (you can watch it at the bottom), some of the survivors are fighting over water, and Jack, who has taken on the responsibility of being the leader, steps in to shed some light on the situation. He says, "We can't do this. Every man for himself is not going to work…Last week, most of us were strangers. But we're all here now….if we can't live together, we're gonna die alone."
I think American culture is so me-driven, that we forget that we need each other. Not just as a comfort, but as a fundamental need. In Genesis 2:18, God addresses this need from the get-go.
"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
As an extrovert, I've always been aware of my need for community, but I guess I didn't realize the specifics of it. It was like a head knowledge thing, where you know it, but you don't know it.
One of the reasons for Training Camp is so you can begin forming deep relationships with your squad, as well as being placed on a team. I've never had problems with social situations. In fact, I live for them. They are what fill me up and recharge me.
But on Monday afternoon of Training Camp, I wanted to be anywhere but there; I wanted to be with anyone but these people.
You see, although I am very social, I also have social insecurities. This goes back to late middle school/early high school, when I was called out (in love, but I was defensive about it at the time) about being a negative person. I took it to mean that I was annoying and that people just put up with me. Which I know are lies, but they always seem to rear their ugly heads at the worst possible times.
Which, in this case, was Monday afternoon of World Race Training Camp.
We had walked as a group to the waterfall on the campus, and I had a bad attitude the whole time. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I felt like everyone else was having a great time, and I was the only one who wasn't having a meaningful interaction with someone else. This must mean that those insecurities are true (lies). Nobody wants to be around me (lies). I was angry at myself because I knew that these were lies, and the only one making them true was myself in believing the lies and in my refusal to snap out of it. I wanted to be angry, and I was.
(Photo Credit: Meg Hill)
I stayed angry and upset the entire walk back, and retreated to my tent. I left the tent door open, though, in a desperate attempt to be noticed, and hoping that someone would come and talk to me, which in a weird way would invalidate the lies.
Tiffany saw and came in to talk to me. (P.S. Tiff-Thank you for noticing me and taking the time to speak life into me. You have no idea how much that meant to me. 🙂 ) I honestly can't remember the exact words she said to me, but I do remember that just being with someone started to clear my mind of those lies and insecurities.
We need each other. On the walk to the waterfall, I was dying inside. I was dying alone. But, with Tiffany in the tent, I was living.
We need each other. We need community. We need to speak life and to have life spoken over us.
Stay tuned for Part 2.
Peace.
