Monday we went back to the OR for the final day at the hospital. I saw the one thing I didn’t want to see on the Race. A woman went in for a C-section surgery. She lived about 1.5 hours away by Chicken Bus, and to get to the bus she would have had to probably walked about 4 hours (at 8-9 months pregnant). She knew something was wrong and made the trip to the hospital. The doctors knew something was wrong but unsure, so they went into emergency C-section surgery and the baby did not make it. It was the first time I have ever been exposed to a recently lost person. Dr. Palmac said that if the woman would have been in the hospital, they would have been able to save her within minutes.
We reference the exceptions in statistics. We talk about the malnourished, the sick, the poor, the needy, the abused, the raped, the incest cases, but to see it face to face was difficult. We learned a lot about the high infant mortality rate, but I just never thought I’d come to see it, especially on my last day of ministry here. I didn’t get her name. They didn’t have a name picked out for the baby, most mothers don’t even name their child until the second week they are alive because the high infant mortality rate, to protect their hearts from loss.
Please pray for that mother.
Yesterday I said farewell to Dr. Juoquin Palmac, who in the last few weeks I have now realized has been playing a very important role for me: that of an older brother-figure. For the last few years I have had various brothers from the church walk with me and act as an older brother spiritually and morally. I’ve always had older men pursuing a godly, platonic relationship with me and now that we are all on the same playing field on the Race, I recently have discovered it feels pretty empty. I miss it and need the growth from it. I love the men on my squad, but it feels like they are all my equal brothers and peers rather than someone that can really pour into me, and that be reciprocated. I realize this last night as we were at the Casa de mi Padre, a local orphanage started by a man from Missouri who loved and cared for twenty-two children in Guat. They were so full of joy, healthy, and happy. It was awesome to see and be able to spend the evening playing with them and talking about life.
They sang us a song thanking us for serving in Quiche. One of our teams was serving on a daily basis at that specific orphanage. As they sang the song I felt the Lord press on my heart, thank you to me. I’m still processing what that means. I’m not sure I have ever felt like the Lord be grateful that I am submitting in obedience and doing what he has called me to do. In Reformed, or Calvinist theology, there isn’t much focus on God’s gratitude on your obedience, rather just heavily emphatic that we should submit for His glory, which in return would give us life abundantly and our greatest joy in Him. Right now I’m just processing a lot after seeing what happened on Monday and leaving the ministry to head to Nicaragua next month. I also lost another sponsor for unforeseen or unknown reasons today, leaving me about $400 USD short of my fully fundraised status that if I don’t raise, I will be sent home in March (something I do not want). I’m not so much worried as just confused and hurt by what I’ve seen and what’s happening.
If you’re one of my brothers or sisters who walks with me back home, I would appreciate it if you would pray over the whole situation and send some encouragement my way.
thanks
-J
