I am almost half way through month 2 of my Race, and I am beginning to feel the dull ache of what many people dread while on the Race…
Homesickness.
Many people asked me if I would miss home before I left, and I don’t think that in my romanticized ideal of the adventure of a lifetime, I really gave myself time to process the idea.
And I know what you are thinking.
But she’s traveling the world, right?
Her life rocks, right?
My life is extraordinary and I am so blessed, but sometimes, my reality is that homesickness hits me like a ton of bricks.
During my time in Peru, it happened twice.
The first time was when I decided to spend a day at the beach with my friends. We were looking for a place to eat, and I was desperately craving fish and chips, a dish that would be easy to find at an American beach.
But, being in Peru, there was none to be found. It hurt more than you think it would. Instantly, I felt the weight of my presence as a foreigner and the strangeness of my surroundings. The things that were missing crashed in around me and I felt trapped.
The second time was when we were rounding up children for a VBS. We walked around the neighborhood calling to the children and gathering them. This little girl ran out of her house as fast as she could, and looked just like a Peruvian version of my little sister.
Once again, I was hit by what I am missing. The family dinners I am skipping. The pain of my absence overwhelmed me.
We don’t think of ourselves as foreigners when we leave for the Race, and I have noticed that my biggest struggles with homesickness have been when I am assaulted by something that should be familiar but isn’t.
A mall food court with all Ecuadorian restaurants and no Panda Express.
A McDonalds Big Mac that tastes similar but just off enough to make you nostalgic.
A church van with weird fold down seats that would never be allowed in the States.
The other day, I was reading in Psalms 146, where it says, “The Lord watches over the foreigner.”
I’ve read this passage many times before, but I never realized the significance until I was sitting on a bed in Ecuador missing my family.
I began realizing the Lord’s heart for the foreigner. Nearly every Great in the Bible first had to leave his home.
Abraham left for his promised land.
Joseph was sold and moved into Egypt.
Daniel was a slave in Babylon.
Ruth left Moab to follow Naomi.
Jesus left heaven to die for us.
Nearly everyone in the Bible spent some time living as a foreigner. They didn’t have Skype. They didn’t have Wifi, and yet, the Lord was still there watching over them. I can imagine even they felt the strangeness of living in a new place.
For this year, I am living as a foreigner. And although it is adventure, sometimes, you just want a freaking chicken strip without the bones in it.
This is one of those things many people on the Race just don’t talk about.
Some days, it just hurts.
Some days, you will be looking at the stars, close your eyes, and imagine you are home.
But it is important to remember you have a choice. You can choose to give in to the feeling and lose sight of the beauty right in front of you. Or you can be intentional and fight to stay present.
Homesickness is tough. It is my sister’s birthday this week and I imagine tears will be shed at some point. But then I remember, I am in Ecuador! God has brought me this far, and He can take me so much farther.
And ultimately, Jesus is worth any price.
