The closer I get to the World Race, the more I have to say goodbye to the things that I love the most. When God called me to the World Race, I knew that I was essentially sacrificing a year of my life to serve God completely and fully, but I didn’t realize just how much it would hurt…like really really really HURT.

But Jordyn, you are serving the Lord.

But Jordyn, you are going to see the World!

But Jordyn, a year is nothing in comparison to a whole lifetime!

No comfort, no encouraging words, nothing but the supernatural peace of the Holy Spirit helps.

I am a WRECK. And a Drama Queen, but still, a WRECK.

And it keeps getting more difficult.

You see, I have been a leader in my church’s youth program for two years, and the young ladies I serve hold a  huge place in my heart. I have laughed with them, cried with them, and grown closer to Jesus with them, but about a month ago, in my prayer time, God gave me a challenge.

“Take a step back and lean into me.”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAKE A STEP BACK?

Like quit being a leader?

Leave my girls?

Abandon my girls? They need me!!!

After a ton of prayer, I realized what God was doing. My life revolved around serving others and helping them encounter Jesus, when I was in fact neglecting my own encounter and alone time with Jesus. My time with Him was becoming a ritual, a religion, not a relationship.

I realized I had to say goodbye. And that hurt.

It hurt so much.

I am so tired of goodbye.

But then I am reminded that Jesus said goodbye to heaven and paradise so he could die for my sins. He lived 30+ years in a world that wasn’t worthy to have Him, but He did it for me. He said goodbye to a comfortable life in heaven so He could save me, and then I realized something.

JESUS is worthy of my goodbyes.

JESUS is worthy of my sacrifice.

I am laying it all down for Him. There is no plan B.

Am I scared? YES

Am I uncomfortable? HECK YES.

Will it be worth it? Most definitely.

But I still hate goodbyes.

 


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