Japan was such a beautiful, clean and polite country. Everything was so perfectly put together there. You can walk down the streets, and you will see no trash. It’s as if everyone is ODC about being clean, but then you just realize that it’s the culture there. After just a few days, I also realized that outside of the ones that have a relationships with the Christ the people are empty. Thats exactly how the devil was attacking me…by making me feel “cookie-cutter” perfect on the outside and so empty on the inside. I knew the areas in my life that God wanted me to work on, but I was more content to just let the empty feeling take over me for the month.
Until I got to Malaysia for debrief.
Our coaches had flown in, and our whole squad was together. As soon as our nightly sessions started, God started to nudge my heart telling me it was time to fix the wracks on my heart. I had ignored them long enough. Deon, my coach, spoke one night about identity in Christ. As I sat in my seat, I felt as if God was whispering in his ear about my broken heart…he message felt so personal.
The next day, I couldn’t stop thinking about my self worth and my identity. It is something that I had been struggling with for the past six month. That night I began to pray and asked God what areas in my life I could work on to bring my more Godly characteristics into my life. His answer was clear…identity.
That’s when He spoke to me:
God: “Jordan, how does your dad refer to you? By your past offenses?”
-I thought of all the times I have seen disappointment or anger in my daddy’s eyes, but it is so quickly replaces but love.
Me: “No, he just refers to me as his daughter, his baby.”
God: “Then how much more do you think I love you and look as you as my daughter when I have not only forgive your sins but FORGOTTEN them as well.”
As I sat in God’s presence, I began to weep. For the first time, I don’t feel as if I have to work for His love. I have it freely. I started to cry out a new prayer to my Heavenly Father:
“Papa….Abba…”
Those two words were as far as I got. With tear streaming down my face, those words said what I could not. My heart had been wracked for so long, and those two words healed some of them. All the labels that people has out on me in the past: trouble-maker, whore, ugly, damaged, unworthy….they were wrong!
I am a daughter of the King!
He says I am: beautiful, healed, whole, worthy, HIS
Labels do not define us.
Let Christ image be mirrored on your life and be your identity.
