The heart of worship has been on repeat in the playlist of my mind the past few days. (Go check it out if you haven’t heard it, maybe the one by Matt Redman. It’s quality.) So the song talks about how we have the tendency to make worship and relationship with God more than he has asked us to. How we try to either read the bible a certain amount per day, or play a certain number of instruments, or bring a specific message. We do a bunch of things just to meet with the Lord. Just to be within his presence or to worship him adequately.
Now I’m not about to say that doing these things are necessarily wrong nor should you not try to learn more about how to interact with the Lord by developing new disciplines or branching out of your comfort zone. I think it’s biblical to grow, learn more, and develop our talents.
However, as we get further into this trip, I’ve seen more and more of the importance of remembering those most basic forms of worship. Those most basic ways that my heart is stirred for Jesus.
In Revelation 2: 4-5 John tells the Church in Ephesus to go back to the heart of their worship. To go back to what had compelled them to tell all of Asia about Jesus: their affections for Jesus. Although the church had grown exponentially, they had lost site of what is most important – loving Jesus. They had focused so much on growing the Church, following disciplines, establishing truth, that they had become tired. No longer did they place their relationship with the Lord at the forefront of their mind. They focused first on their “responsibilities” then cared about their love for Jesus second or third.
As we focus on ministry here, spending time with the locals, getting to know what the problems are around Nicaragua, it becomes easy to let that be our worship. And, for some of us, that is how we experience Jesus. Which is great. For others, like me, it’s not. Sometimes I get exhausted or tired. Sometimes I get frustrated. Yes, sometimes this missionary forgets that it’s about Jesus and believes that I can stir my heart for Jesus. That I can bring something better than what the Lord has asked, which is just me. To be with him.
We got to see this the other night in worship first hand. The local church asked us to lead worship and all of the songs we knew were in English. So, we played them. The church members participated but as we sang song after song, more and more sat down. More of them got frustrated, exhausted, more concerned with other things, as they couldn’t understand our language. They tried to muster up worship. Eventually they all sat down. We did have one song, though. It was in Spanish. When we started playing, all the church members stood up.
Their hands shot up in the air; their faces changed from frowns to smiles. They clapped. They sang at the top of their lungs. Energy came back into this building. Their affections had been stirred for Jesus not because they had to try, but because they were just being. And the Lord met them.
One of the lines in The Heart of Worship is “I’ll bring you more than a song; For a song in itself is not what you have required.”
At the end of the day your affections for him are important. More important than the disciplines you keep. Because your affections are what stir you to do those disciplines or start those disciplines ultimately. They are what compel you to learn more about him, tell more people about him, etc. They are what get you to meet with him.
I think of it in light of a romantic relationship. I get to know her, ask her questions, take her on dates because I’m affectionate for her. Because I love and care for her that way. I don’t do them because I want to receive her affection or because I want to manifest affections for her that don’t exist. I already have them. I just want to grow it more. And our relationship changes from affection, not regimen.
So, I’ll ask you, what’s your song? What have you tried to make your relationship with Jesus about? What is it that you put ahead of Jesus thinking that you’re really being obedient to him?
My two main ones are serving others and trying to get something really powerful from the bible to share with others. I will reiterate, although these things are good things, they become harmful and off the mark when they replace my affections for Jesus. When they take away from my relationship with him. Or when I think by doing them he loves me more or by not doing them he loves me less.
When I catch myself doing this, I stop what I’m doing and go back to what I know stirs my affections for him. Back to the heart of worship. Listening to a song. It’s like he is speaking over me. I do nothing and just get to rest (and sometimes fall asleep) in his truth. In who he is.
I guess in all I encourage you to not let your disciplines with Jesus take away from your love and affections for Jesus.
