I heard someone say this week, “If it’s broken, it must be mine” as she identified what was hers…
I could relate; I felt as if everything I touched had broken. If something was broken it was most likely I had been there to break it. There was a trail of broken things behind me- opportunities, dreams, relationships. I began to reflect on my mark of ownership. I saw B R O K E N N E S S.
My dreams were broken. I was broken. And everyone knew it.
I shared King Davids lament from Psalms 31: 11-12 (ESV)
“Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach, especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread to my acquaintances; those who see me in the street flee from me. I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel.” That is exactly what I felt like – a broken vessel.
When I came home this evening, there was a note on my bed. It said, “You are lovely, and also loved, Life is at work in you (2 Cor 4:12) I feel like you are in a time of growth and I’m hearing the word “Obedience.“ I see a powerfully rushing river overcoming all the obstacles in it’s way, washing over everything until you can’t see it anymore. I think this could be an image of God’s love rushing over your sin. Let him wash over you and cover everything. There is nothing that Love can’t cover. The cross has already covered you. For some reason I think you are sad right now or maybe just struggling. Either way, the Lord wants you to know that He is holding you in His hand. You’re not lost. You may be broken, but you’re where He wants you. You’re where you need to be in this moment.”
I began to think, Is it really broken? Were my dreams really broken though, or was I simply disappointed because things had not turned out as I had hoped they would? Perhaps my dreams were really just altered.
Usually when I think something is broken I later discover that I just didn’t understand it. For example, a dishwasher, a dryer, a lid to a medicine bottle, etc.
I often get overwhelmed and fail to see the bigger picture. When something appears to break, it isn’t totally destroyed, but only altered and can actually become more useful than before. Sometimes “it” breaks enough to be more useful, and sometimes we are “it”. We become wiser, more sensitive, more understanding, more pliable and more willing to rely completely on the Lord.
We read the Psalms now and better understand King David when he wrote “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again” (Psalm 71:20-21) ESV
As the day continued, I remembered the countless sermons about God reshaping and remolding broken vessels that He would ultimately use for His glory. I remembered the books I had read about the importance of total submission to God, being broken and humble before Him. I remembered the verses I had memorized reminding me that Christ came to provide hope and to heal the broken.
I remembered many things that day. I particularly remember a paraphrase of Matthew 9:12. It is not the whole who need the healer, but the broken.
Love, Texas
