Perplexity– inability to deal with or understand something complicated or unaccountable.
Nobody chooses to move into a season of perplexity I certainly didn’t. Nobody says, “Well, now that I’ve mastered everything in complexity, I’d like it all to be torn to bits.” No, it’s a unique season that is kinda pushed upon us.
Reason why I am explaining this, – This is the season I’m currently in. I do not understand anything thats going on in my life, I do not understand why things are the way they are, I sometimes don’t even understand why I feel like the Lords calling me to this trip because Im at a place where God has me doing everything on my own and I’ve so desired to lean on other people for comfort, for help, and support and there is nothing wrong with leaning on others, but the Lord is showing me, that if I’m running to other people before God, then they have become idols in my life. OUCH
Im in a rough season of just “growing up” and as much as I would love to argue “ I’m grown” I’m not. I’ve noticed God preparing me for leadership and with that said, I will be one of the oldest people on my trip and I know that God might place multiple opportunities in my way to lead out and if I’m not prepared spiritual and mentally then I will not be able to step up and be obedient to whatever God might be calling me to do.
In a season of perplexity you learn to wait—you have to wait—and so you have to practice patience, and in so doing, you find yourself hoping for a redeemed ending.
But I can’t help but ask the question
BUT WHAT IF, it isn’t redeeming.. thats my struggle right now, doubt.
The Lord showed me this song called “Amen” by I am They.
and these are the lyrics that changed my whole perspective on this season.
Whatever comes my way
You have taught me to say
Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing Amen
I’ve realized how much faith I lack in situations that I have no other choice than to be fully dependent on the Lord. What does that say about my faith? How little I have.
Trusting the Lord for finacial provision has by far been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced and my heart has been breaking over it daily. I’m constantly finding myself on my face begging God to forgive me for my doubt, for my lack of faith and for placing my trust in other places.
Whatever God has for me, AMEN.
Whatever he takes away from me AMEN
ALL I wanna do is glorify and be obedience to my Father.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Come along side of me and pray for God’s will in this to be done! Pray for the 3 countries i will be going to. Guatemala, Malaysia, and Botswana, pray for my team and preparations they all are getting ready for as well.
If you want do more, please donate, every dollar counts and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
On the left side of my blog, theres a button that says “Support me “ and donate whatever amount your feel called to do.
Thank y’all for everything!
