So
the overall theme the Lord has spoken to me this month is simply
this… “It's not about what we do for Him, but all about what HE
does for US.” (Romans 12).
From
day one of stepping on guatemalan soil, it became very evident that I
CANNOT do this world race thing…. at least not in my own strength.
The Lord allowed me to run myself into the ground and fall flat on my
face in a matter of days, simply to remind me that I cannot do this
on my own. It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in the “do it
myself” mentality… most times I don't even realize i'm operating
in my own strength until i'm in over my head.
As
world racers– and as christians in general– we are all on this
journey of abandonment, brokenness, and dependence. We have abandoned
our homes and comforts in order to follow Christ. When we strip down
to the bare necessities, our insecurities and imperfections are
brought to the light– and let me say, sometimes it's really not
pretty.
We
can either embrace this process, or run from it. If we embrace it, we
become broken. It hurts. It's difficult. But if we can allow this
process to take it's course, we end up in complete dependence on the
Lord. It's through those broken cracks that the Lord is able to shine
through even brighter than before.
What
God has shown me this month is we find strength in letting go of our
own ability and latching on to him. We find favor with him when we
step into what God is already doing for us. I know God has promised
me good things. I know that God has called me on this trip. So why am
I hitting this wall? It's because I was trying to be in control. I
have been trying to be good enough. I've been trying to run away from
my problems that i've brought with me on this trip. But running away
from the process is way more draining than running towards him and
towards the brokenness. Ironic, yeah?
Romans
4 and Romans 12 out of “The Message” version has really rocked my
wold…
Romans
4
“Abraham
entered into what GOD was doing for him, and that was the turning
point…He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to do it on
his own."
"The
fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and His
way, and then simply embracing Him and what He does."
Romans
12
“Embracing
what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him..”
“It's
important that you don't misintepret yourself as people who are
bringing this goodness to God.
No,
God brings it all to you.
The only accurate way to understand
ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us– not by what
we are or what we do for Him.”
So
what does all this mean? It means i'm done running. Done trying to be
good enough. I'm embracing this process and letting the brokenness
and dependance come. Because only then can Jesus shine through me
fully. Only then can I experience full empowerment through His
Spirit.
On
a lighter note….
This
month in guatemala has been good. We've had the opportunity to work
in an orphanage called “Casa de Mi Pardre.” A majority of our
time was spent painting and doing manual labor on the orphanage
property. The kids of course stole our hearts. It's difficult
knowing that many of them won't be adopted due to international
adoption barriers between guatemala and the US. But the great thing
about the ministry is that they teach the kids that they have a
heavenly Father who loves them dearly. The orphanage staff also does
an amazing job raising the kids and loving them as their own.
Our
time here has flown by so quickly. On wednesday we will get on a bus
and head to Tegucigalpa, Honduras. There we will be working with
“Zion's Gate Ministries”…. Working with street kids, teaching
in schools, prison ministry, homeless outreach, and more!
Thank
you all of you who are joining me in this journey. I promise this
upcoming month I will be much more consistent keeping you updated now
that I've gotten my feet wet and am getting the hang of all this 😉
Thank
you for your prayers and support, you all mean the world to me! I
couldn't do this without you!
