"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you,plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
That actually does not sound to bad. To paraphraise a bit.." Jordan relax. I got this!" If I actually believe this is true then why am I having such a hard time right now? I guess it just comes down to the sheer fact that this town(Greeley)and these people have become my "safety zone." I know who I am here and where I fit. I know if I go to "Zoe's" I can get a yummy drink like apple pie in a cup, and will always know people there. I know if I go to "Navs" , "Intervarsity", or "Christ Community" that I will be surrounded by some incredible brothers and sisters in Christ. I know the people whose arms I can run to to cry in and what people can make me laugh no matter what I am going through. I know the people I admire and want my life to look like. I know the people who are looking up to me and the ones I want to pour as much love as possible onto. This is my "safety zone". This is where I feel comfortable,loved,and accepted. I dont want to leave.
With that being said I dont really have a choice. Since I am already in His arms I need to claim the above verse. I need to release my grasp on what makes me feel safe and comfortable because I know he wont release his grasp on me. If I never let go and never learn to say goodbye I am missing out on the whole "hope and a future" part and the whole" Plans to prosper you"part. To be honest with you it is going to suck at first. It is going to involve many tears,many nights of feeling lonely, and many fears.But like I said God does have a super strong grasp on me so I know in the end I will be ok. Even prosperious.
This is what I feel like he is telling me right now…
"Jordan I know these past 3+ years have been the most amazing years of your life.I have grown you in so many extraordinary ways. I have put many angels into your life to help you through tough times and to be with you to praise me in your joy.I have given you trails to strengthen and test you. I have put people into your life who I know you can love on. I have taken people out of your life to teach you it is ok for people not to like you. I have done all these things to stregthen your dependence on me. I am the only one you need my daughter.
But I have also shown you what is going on In the world and have given you a heart that breaks for it. I have entrusted you with my children and I need you to teach them my ways and my love. I need you to give so many others my hope and future. You are done in Greeley for now. You have done and learned everything I intended for you to. I need you in Colorado Springs now. I need you with those 4th graders and the other children and people there.You are a missionary. You are my doulos. Greeley is no longer your mission field. Colorado Springs is. Pretty soon I am going to give you a new mission field and we will have to go through this same process. I will send you into the world. But right now I need you to focus on where I have you. I need you to be patient and remain in my arms. I have created you to love adventures. Why not try this new one? Jordan relax. I got this!"
