Until last Thursday, I was living completely independent in New York City and working as a fashion designer. I had recently started a beautiful budding relationship with a man who loves the Lord beyond belief, and I was surrounded by friends who I consider family. Let’s just say, my life was running pretty smoothly.
My last two years in New York, while having ups and downs, overall has been pretty incredible and comfortable. I truly believe that when things begin to get easy and almost stale, God comes in and wants to spice things up. He gives you trials and hardships to test and mold you, and that’s exactly what He is doing in me. When things got too simple, it was time to change things up and move me to ASIA to work with prostitutes and orphans… Uhh ok?!? Funny how He works huh??
The transition of leaving the big city has been extremely difficult. Not only the culture of moving back to a small town, but also leaving behind everything I’ve known for two years. While it may not seem like that long of a time, it was my first encounter living on my own. Honestly, I really started to feel selfish and then felt bad that I felt selfish. I was on an emotional roller coaster preparing for this move and the World Race.
To break it down… I sold all of my furniture and most clothes, ended my fashion career, moved back to Georgia for a month, left friends, family, a relationship, and my dog, lost my blonde hair (I’m dying it brown today and let’s just say, I’m not a happy camper), and life as I know it will forever be changed. Let’s be honest, my views on life will be much different after this trip. The way I look at material things and wants will be altered. Seeing the poor living conditions that others see as the norm will forever be transformed. As many people keep reminding me, “This trip is going to change your entire life”. What if I like my life now though?
As my mind was about to explode, I started studying the book of James. And low and behold, the first chapter talks about Trials. James 1:2-5 states:
2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
God already knew how hard this transition was going to be for me. As difficult as it was, it is forcing me to lean on Him and not on my own understandings. I felt selfish for feeling that way, but God knows my heart. He knows my passion for people and how He is going to use me to witness to everyone I will encounter. The Lord I serve loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me. Now it’s my turn to just sit back and listen, much easier said than done in my opinion!
