(Written on May 23rd during some “down” time when contacts fell through)
I am learning and relearning this countless times on this trip. I am still coming to grips with the fact that God is a big God. He is bigger than an orphan in Mozambique, a week of ministry gone ‘wrong’ or even the 9 million person city of Lima itself. I am significant but God does not ‘need’ me specifically to make His plan happen, He can use whoever or whatever He wants, when He says something, it will happen. It’s really relieving to come to the understanding that the responsibility does not rely on me.
So, God’s plans are so huge, His will so vast, that He gives me one or maybe two commands.
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31 NKJV)
Again I come to you partially out of feelings of guilt for not ‘doing’ enough but these are mixed with not even being able to ‘do.’ But I am reminded time and again that God is perfecting me, He’s got it all under control, I just need to give Him the reigns over and over again. I am seeking God, I am supporting and submitting to my the leadership above me I am loving God and loving people, just because ‘ministry’ isn’t happening is not up to me personally. As I said earlier I am relearning this in different forms constantly, who am I to say what God has planned?
This last while has been filled with planning, preparing, discussing, but not much ‘doing.’ Naturally, with that result it brings a lot of personal feelings of frustration, disappointment, guilt and… I think you get the picture.
I believe God is teaching me not that He doesn’t care about a day, or a week, or 3 weeks, but that He is just over and above that. He is above our little thoughts of productivity, efficiency and even punctuality. He is transcendent, what a relief someone has things under control!
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NKJV)
Please pray that I continue to lean on God’s promises “Making known… the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” (Col. 1:27 NIV)
