Matt. 11:28-30 (The Message)
28“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 29Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.�
As I read that passage this morning tear rolled down my face… I am tired, I am worn out, I am done with religion. Don’t get me wrong, I love God, but I can’t go on like this. I have hit a wall, gotten to the bottom of the barrel, and there is nothing left.
I hear that this is normal, and that missionaries (especially semi-short term ones) all experience this at one time or another. It sucks, time off doesn’t cure it, diving more into the word hasn’t seemed to cure it, praying like crazy to give everything up to God hasn’t cured it… last night I got a really cool word from the Lord exactly relating to this. God impressed on me this, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.� He loves me just the way I am. Although striving after Him is a good thing, reading His word is a good thing, praying is a good thing, these are all good things but I was/am caught up in them sometimes.
Rest in me, I’ll show you how to take a real rest, I will give you rest. Father, I don’t fully understand what they mean, I can say them but it’s going to take a super natural hand in this to bring it into reality for me. Jesus, show me what true rest in you looks like, bring me to a place where I trust in you and reliant on you and you alone.
