I checked in masking my nervous self with a cheesy smile for the camera. Facebook stalking had only told me so much about these individuals. The fact that your favorite color is blue, and you like to get your nails done every Tuesday, did not help much.
My glued-together self had begun to process the fact that these odd people were my family, and it was time to take a leap and see where God wanted to take me. The cliché introduction was first followed by the where I was from, and then the explanation of why was I here. I was 2 for 3 with the questions until I had to really dig deep and find the true meaning of why I was at camp. Why did I want to take 11 months and lose my selfish ambition in the service of others? It was a question I thought about in many sleepless positions throughout the week. “Lord, why?” I asked. “Why are you sending me on this?” I knew that I had a passion for soccer ministry, but it was more. It was more than a ball transcending nations. God was starting to paint me a picture of a journey I could not even imagine.
The longer I thought about this question, the easier it was for God to sweetly convict me of the blind hurts in my life. If we are called to change the world but still are a broken being inside, who are we ultimately helping? This past week, the Lord tore down my curtain of pride in a way that was so intentional. He showed me glimpses into the future and spoke to my heart in a way that I had never felt. He took me to the most vulnerable places so that I could finally start building that intimacy I had longed for. I came into camp as a sinner glued together by the very roots that were holding me back but left as a sinner concreted in the very foundation that held that cross into the ground. This week was challenging, but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. I fell in love with my new family and have been humbled to get the chance to lead myself and five other individuals to 11 countries in 11 months. My prayer is that we would be mirrors sending praise to the one who made this possible, that we soak in the blessings from above, and that we shine it on the nations that need it so very badly. May we love the lost.
