Ok, ok, ok so I’m not really a pastor…not yet anyways. But I love ministry and missions….and I’m an introvert. How does that work?
This post is really for all of you introverts out there. I want to share with you a few things I’ve learned this past year and how God really reaffirmed everything for me this past week at Training Camp.
In case you don’t already know, the difference between extroversion and introversion is where you draw your energy. Extroverts draw their energy from others while introverts draw their energy from being alone.
Training Camp for The World Race looks different for everybody. With young adults from all different backgrounds, denominations, and walks of life, one can imagine how the experience can be so diverse. From silence in worship to dancing and speaking in tongues…you’ve pretty much got it all.
On day 2, I journaled that I felt like the biggest “loss” I felt throughout my life has my inability and lack of courage (and extraversion) to reach out to others. That has honestly been something I have been wrestling with in my mind for the past couple of years as I have become more engaged in ministry.
Introverts will often say, God gives you your personality for a reason. You don’t have to be the one preaching from the pulpit or leading others in small groups. You can be the one behind the scenes doing the work that nobody knows about. That is your gift and that’s ok. While that may be true, I think God wants to challenge us introverts to branch out and go against the grain.
About a year ago, I would have said that I could never be a pastor. “I’m an introvert. I can’t speak in public.” Well one day I was challenged to do so. What started as a 5 minute testimony turned into a 20 minute sermon. When I walked off the stage, I couldn’t believe the overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement that had stirred up inside of me. “I wanna do that again,” I said to myself.
This experience really started making me question what God asks of us introverts.
I experience God the most in silence. I enjoy worshiping with my eyes closed. I don’t exactly experience the Holy Spirit like a “rushing wind.” The walls don’t shake. I’ve never spoke in tongues. But I feel His presence.
One of the speakers this past week talked about 7 different spiritual pathways to experiencing God. One of which is called the “contemplative instinct”. This really struck a chord with me because it described exactly what I just told you.
“The agenda is listening…focusing on listening in prayer (silence). We often feel out of step with evangelicals.” With people dancing all around me all week, I could definitely relate to that. The last thing the speaker said was “we could use a generation that spends time alone with God and is “out of step.” After all, Jesus did this numerous times throughout his life.
That was a turning point for me in my week as I began to learn to embrace my introverted way of communing with God, understanding that it is how He created me to commune with Him.
But how does God want me to translate this into communing with others?
Here is what I wrote on day 4:
“The love, deep love, I feel and experience for people is almost something that just doesn’t seem manly. It isn’t powerful. It isn’t authoritative…It is gentle. It is hard for me to embrace but I love having the gentleness, patience, and compassion that I have for others in a quiet way. I don’t feel like fear contains me. Because I feel fearless. I feel filled. I feel loved…and loving. I value depth and depth is what I want to bring to the table.”
“Sometimes God comes like a mighty wind and sometimes like a gentle whisper.”
What good is this deep love if I don’t express it to others?
Introverts…here is my conclusion. How you commune with God is entirely different from how you commune with others. Push yourself! You can recharge later.
Extroverts, love your introverted friends. They will bring balance and perspective to your walk with Christ. Don’t expect them to get jiggy with it in worship like you do.
